poemranker ::BreakBeat TimeTravel by nentwined

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Free verse № 78791

BreakBeat TimeTravel

by nentwined

Member since 2001 · Posted 6 Jan 2004 · Edited 7 Jan 2004 · 20 comments

Breakbeat time travel--on the flip flip flop down skip the heart skips and in- between moments the mind skips between moments; history of the victors lives on-- he lives on long beyond the lives of those in his moments, his moments in- between moments; history and future live on, so malleable, the moments between moments so malleable that the history and future he knows may never have happened though he visits them daily he disavows all knowledge not his, and his changes, time break travel

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20 comments

[8] devilishnutcase 7-Jan-04/1:59 AM Reply
Very captivating,you publish any books of sorts ?
[n/a] nentwined › devilishnutcase 7-Jan-04/8:08 AM Reply
I've had a few pieces in print, but overall no. still working on it.
[n/a] Everyone 7-Jan-04/4:03 AM Reply
When I read the title, I actually thought it might be about beaks. Needless to say I was jolly excited; but then it turned out that you just couldn't spell "break", and instead I had to read a poeme that contained the word "moment" far too many times. Thanks.
[n/a] nentwined › Everyone 7-Jan-04/8:09 AM Reply
I really can't spell break. that sucks.

one moment and I'll fix that. I'm just not sure which one (moment). la. ;)
[9] Shuushin 7-Jan-04/8:01 AM Reply
I like how you suckered me into the rythm of it - but I could do without the last line.
[n/a] nentwined › Shuushin 7-Jan-04/8:11 AM Reply
yeah, the last line sucks. I couldn't figure out how to end it. Any suggestion? Or just fine without the last line and nothing else?
[9] Shuushin › nentwined 7-Jan-04/8:31 AM Reply
I think you can just delete it call it a day.
[7] Don-Quixote › Shuushin 7-Jan-04/8:47 AM Reply
I second that. Because this poem has guaranteed nentwined to face molestation charges from "moments".

You know, we could of done this mathematically.. Loop 1sec + 1.

[n/a] nentwined › Don-Quixote 7-Jan-04/8:49 AM Reply
cute, very cute. :)

I do seem to like that word, though. Certainly not the first poem I've overused it.
[7] Don-Quixote › nentwined 7-Jan-04/9:03 AM Reply
Well, its a poetic word.. (well, personally, I think hallmark has ruined it)

Hell, you could make a poem by just writing "moments" and nothing else, and have a good chance of getting away with it.

heres a contribution to your fascination:

moments
between golden splashes
and amber tears
is where peace is found
before the dreaded eye sting
and the smell of cleanliness.

Oh, and heres a 7.. it was funny I think, though I'm guessing that wasn't exactly your goal. :P
[n/a] nentwined › Don-Quixote 7-Jan-04/9:07 AM Reply
Goal? I'm supposed to have a goal?

No, I suppose funny wasn't the goal. The goal was to write something, anything, no matter how crappy it was, because my mind was for some reason unable to function around two cups of coffee. A very odd experience.
[7] Don-Quixote › nentwined 7-Jan-04/9:23 AM Reply
No, you don't have to have a goal, but I figure everything has a purpose- no matter how inane that purpose might be.

I had the same goal when I wrote Dance in my Golden Shower. Tis how I broke the writers barrier.

coffee = water. But we all know my opinion there..
[n/a] nentwined › Shuushin 7-Jan-04/8:47 AM Reply
here goes nothing. ;) That lets me fix the title and one spot where I had a double space for no reason other than twitchy fingers.
[8] richa 7-Jan-04/2:40 PM Reply
The first line beak makes no sense to me.
[n/a] nentwined › richa 7-Jan-04/5:53 PM Reply
but the rest of them do?

it's trying to force the examination of breakbeat time vs. breakbeat time travel vs. time travel. ish.
[8] richa › nentwined 8-Jan-04/3:03 AM Reply
Yes actually, I thought the rest of the line beaks worked well.

Any examination beaks down though when one can not get past the first line.
[n/a] nentwined › richa 8-Jan-04/9:25 AM Reply
Beakariffic. :)
[n/a] Everyone › nentwined 8-Jan-04/10:55 AM Reply
Who are you to invoke the name of the Beak?
[8] INTRANSIT 7-Jan-04/7:00 PM Reply
igpbgh. that is all.
[9] LilMsLadyPoet 13-Jul-05/2:08 PM Reply
hmmm...made me think...and sounds like lyrics. I am not thoughoughly sure what this is about...well, yeah, I get it, up until the last three lines- seemed to not be part of it, or I didn't get their connection to the entire rest of it. But other than that I like it. Funky rythm I like. It Pops and Snaps like music. Gonna give it a good, generous score.