Re: Spring Cleaning by horus8	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.68	9-May-04/5:35 PM
Would you like me to be less generous and more critical more often?
Re: Ghosts by unknown^user	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	9-May-04/12:06 PM
Ditto the commas. I like not knowing who or what the ghosts are, guessing.
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	9-May-04/12:18 PM
Such a need for love we have, and such deep hurt when the opposite we get. I want to hug this boy, whoever he is or was or might be, but he'd likely wonder if I were going to do to something to him like his uncle did. It must be a hard thing to get over.
Re: This Summers Ablaze by DeadtotheWorld	Sasha 69.138.236.63	9-May-04/2:06 PM
And use some rhymes that are more varied
Re: Obituary for the Moon by wilco	edpeterson 68.79.7.110	9-May-04/2:27 PM
Good song.
Re: Outhouse by newagepoet2000	Sasha 69.138.236.63	9-May-04/2:28 PM
You know this shit you have posted has a stench more vile than any that comes out of my own or anybody else's rectum.
Re: Obituary for the Moon by wilco	Sasha 69.138.236.63	9-May-04/2:31 PM
Good song indeed. Unfortunately a song is not necessarily a poem, though it can be. This straddles the border between song and poem.
Re: This Summers Ablaze by DeadtotheWorld	horus8 24.130.62.63	9-May-04/3:54 PM
My advice, get out of Idaho before you're completely retarded.
Re: Ghosts by unknown^user	horus8 24.130.62.63	9-May-04/3:59 PM
You weild a comma like a Mexican.
Re: Spring Cleaning by horus8	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.68	9-May-04/4:18 PM
I hate to be picky but the lack of reason bugs me. Failed marriage? Death? Who would be around to watch? Sorry.
Re: Obituary for the Moon by wilco	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.68	9-May-04/4:20 PM
Groovy. 'Rita, please. no salt.
Re: Obituary for the Moon by wilco	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	9-May-04/5:17 PM
I don't see the bar scene as others do. I tend to be blind to what others see. I didn't see the moon "when the light went away." I was too busy fighting, protecting my self Putting off loving til "the end of a storm." Crap, I say, to the poemranker storm. Wish we all could just talk about poems. Like this one, which I like quite a lot.
Re: Spring Cleaning by horus8	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	9-May-04/5:22 PM
If this helps you to cope, good. I fail to see any other use for it. I suppose the same could be said for most of mine.
Re: Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	9-May-04/5:25 PM
Greets (been hard to get on-line this weekend)! This has a jaunty little beat, doesn't it. I'd be inclined to change a couple minor things here and there, but overall it's got a solid feel. Exlamations points might be overdone, and I'd just make that last line go right after the "she", and lastly the capital "And" is pretty jarring.
Re: forwards by nentwined	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	9-May-04/5:40 PM
Time is an illusion /echo An unusual thing from you, this. Feels pimply, I want to pick it to shreds.
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	9-May-04/5:50 PM
Good poem if a little long. Raises an interesting topic. Prolly you could trim a fourth, anyway. Sorry I can't be more helpful with something more specific. I should prolly bag this for the night.
Re: Feasting Ouroboros by <~>	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	9-May-04/5:51 PM
Congrats.
Re: Loosed by <~>	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	9-May-04/5:51 PM
Congrats!
Re: Lover by daveslady	daveslady 140.211.124.224	9-May-04/8:12 PM
I just thought every one should know that, yes this poem is about Dave, and yes, its about my first day at school- tranfered colleges and had to leave him behind.
Re: 1 by Clockwork orange?	Sasha 69.138.236.63	9-May-04/8:37 PM
Forced rhymes. You can't cross an i