| Re: Puritans by zodiac |
zodiac 67.240.155.245 |
20-Mar-04/3:34 PM |
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Oh, and thanks, richa, for letting me try out your style. I couldn't work in any woodland animals, though. Or A#P#P#L#E#S.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 67.240.155.245 |
20-Mar-04/3:45 PM |
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I can't think of much to say about this. Probably because I'm currently pretty sloshed on Gin, Yuengling B&T, and gasoline fumes. And yet I find I lack the clarity and self-awareness to say, as you so presciently have, 'Gee I'm sure a drunk, drinking away items A, B, and C for reasons X, Y, and Z'. But then, I live in a huge cabin with a view of Cold Mountain, work twenty hours a week in a job that mostly involves checking poemranker at fifteen-minute intervals, and drink all day mainly because it makes checking poemranker and sex with my wife more fun. Why else would I do it? -10-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 67.240.155.245 |
20-Mar-04/3:56 PM |
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I just saw a bunch of stuff here I hadn't before. Talk about not seeing rhyme... And those weird in-between stanzas ("They break from the sea...") just get me somehow. I'd still consider next time watching out for similar grammatical constructions. -10-
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| Re: Snow Day by Standby |
zodiac 67.240.155.245 |
20-Mar-04/3:59 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
richa 81.178.251.20 |
20-Mar-04/4:03 PM |
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Mothers day today - Happy Birthday? Alzheimers - a connection.
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| Re: Senseless Murder by Sapphire2589 |
richa 81.178.251.20 |
20-Mar-04/4:09 PM |
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Needs better research. I am not believing the murder thingy
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| Re: Snow Day by Standby |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.86.113.159 |
20-Mar-04/4:37 PM |
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Are you sure you didn't see yourself, someone should fuck your shit up for writing this.
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| Re: I am by Sapphire2589 |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.86.113.159 |
20-Mar-04/4:42 PM |
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| Re: Puritans by zodiac |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.86.113.159 |
20-Mar-04/4:48 PM |
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Mediocrity code: 20841404
-6-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.86.113.159 |
20-Mar-04/4:52 PM |
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Mediocrity code: 21580481
-8-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.86.113.159 |
20-Mar-04/4:54 PM |
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| Re: Puritans by zodiac |
zodiac 67.240.155.245 |
20-Mar-04/5:06 PM |
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Rhyme/intentional-line-break code: AB-BCCD-ABCD-A.
Why don't you look it up, -=Dark_Angel=-?
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| Re: Puritans by zodiac |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
20-Mar-04/6:14 PM |
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Meaning aside - which is fine, the flow of this is a few extra words past something that I might like very much.
It has a musical flow to it that I often strive for.
But I'm not thrilled with some of the simple descriptors and imagery - while the cadence is melodic, the language is uncomfortable.
Does that make sense?
windy warm
formidable
long and tenderly - could do without those, in particular.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
20-Mar-04/6:17 PM |
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I was thinking this could make a good ghazal.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
20-Mar-04/6:18 PM |
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what is this a glosa _of_?
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| Re: Summer by MaliqaTara |
Standby 152.163.252.168 |
20-Mar-04/7:29 PM |
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| Re: Strange Days, Indeed by Bachus |
Joe-joe 68.194.47.34 |
21-Mar-04/4:42 AM |
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You should reneame this "Reflections of a College Freshman".
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| Re: The End of the Beginning by DarkThirteens |
zodiac 67.240.155.25 |
21-Mar-04/6:53 AM |
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The best part is the 'surprise' at the end, when you realise it's not real, it's just a dream.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 67.240.155.25 |
21-Mar-04/8:27 AM |
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The ending of this just doesn't make sense. And congratulations on the first poetic use of the word 'bopped' by a caucasian.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Jeremi B. Handrinos 24.130.214.180 |
21-Mar-04/12:51 PM |
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Nice thesis 5.
Overall, I can't really concur because
you said absolutely squat.
But I gave you a 5, because you're my nigger Joe.
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