Re: Ex In Bonds by OneFingerAnswer	etherealmaiden 66.71.73.78	1-Mar-04/10:59 AM
I really like this poem but that line "i can't do what i know it is that i have to do" is kinda confusing...I'd just take out "it is that", but the rest of it is great. I really like the imagery and all that.
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	1-Mar-04/12:35 PM
These words have iron.
Re: Margaret Prays by wilco	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 131.111.212.215	1-Mar-04/4:37 PM
I think Margret listened to Counting Crows too much and her brain was actually forced out of her ear.
Re: Looking Outside by etherealmaiden	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.114	2-Mar-04/4:41 AM
"The contemplation of Beauty sometimes induces ecstasy, and ecstasy is the happiest state, a humming perfection of the whole person. The greatest art critic of the earlier twentieth century, Bernard Berenson, writes in his Sketch for a Selfportrait that at the age of five or six he experienced an ecstasy when out of doors." - from 'An Atheist's Values' by Richard Robinson, Fellow of Oriel College, Oxford
Re: Looking Outside by etherealmaiden	richa 81.178.250.167	2-Mar-04/5:27 AM
You are on the inside looking out, you see children playing, chasing a lark, cutting themselves, getting over it. OK anything else?
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.250.167	2-Mar-04/5:28 AM
Well written, complete, not much more to say.
Re: The Lincoln Half by MacFrantic	richa 81.178.250.167	2-Mar-04/5:33 AM
Lines 5,6,7 have no obvious context. Other than that I find this quite cute.
Re: Inside Out by etherealmaiden	meektiger15 216.109.10.61	2-Mar-04/6:27 AM
Good Job ^.^!
Re: Death by etherealmaiden	meektiger15 216.109.10.61	2-Mar-04/6:28 AM
This one is ok :)
Re: That Love by etherealmaiden	meektiger15 216.109.10.61	2-Mar-04/6:29 AM
hmmmm...This is an intresting poem...Intresting in a good way o.O
Re: Looking Outside by etherealmaiden	meektiger15 216.109.10.61	2-Mar-04/6:30 AM
That would be a good song..O.o
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.221.181	2-Mar-04/7:08 AM
are you afraid of the dark?
Re: Early Morning by fevriere	richa 81.178.228.189	2-Mar-04/9:51 AM
If you are going to use punctuation use it the way through. Needs a comma after insulated in the first verse and why the arbitrariness of capitals. First verse does not make much sense grammatically. Quite like the idea, the wisdom of an angel, how your wisdom is the age of your body but they are bodiless.
Re: Timmy by richa	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	2-Mar-04/10:18 AM
sod[s]? I like the cadence of this very much - for me it's the subtle rhyme with talk/part, which was worth repeating. But what is it with Tims and holes? http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=79557
Re: Timmy by richa	zodiac 152.30.60.186	2-Mar-04/10:38 AM
Really the only part of this I don't like is the name Timmy. You'll have to excuse me if that's your name - but I don't believe you, since I don't believe anyone is really called Timmy. It's just a name we made up because it sounds like a typical innocent little boy's name. And it reminds me of that Mr Wizard spoof (on 'Dinosaurs'?) where Mr Wizard keeps saying 'We're going to need another Timmy!' every time Timmy gets his head incinerated by a jet engine or something. I'd be much more interested if his name were Larry, Lester, Jubel, or almost anything else. Or just 'Dead Child'. That, and I think 'digs his OWN small part' has a better rhythm. Maybe. I'm not sure on that one. Try it out. And leave the off the periods after churchyard - at least after the second one. Great poem, by the way.
Re: Early Morning by fevriere	zodiac 152.30.60.186	2-Mar-04/10:49 AM
Wander... wonder? bothers me.
Re: Early Morning by fevriere	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	2-Mar-04/10:57 AM
I like the accentuation of key words with the capitalization, and if you did that on purpose, then I'm fine, too, with the punctuation. Though I know that some will be put off by it - hey this is not sculpting (despite the similarities); where we can't ignore the laws of physics and invent materials and have them hover over the piece blinking in and out from multiple dimensions - this is poetry. And we can very easily fuck with those "laws". So, having said that I like the mechanics of it - I'm a bit put off by the first line, and therefore the rational for the rest. I just don't believe this dumbing-down of god-like sensations to a human level (and this is from a guy who doesn't believe in god). I think it's fixable by making it a lesser diety (stick an article in there), and maybe by shading the perspective a little (not sure exactly how to do that). I may be the only one bothered by it, dunno - it still could appeal to a broader audience. extra points for style.
regarding some deleted poem...	Lenore 64.252.104.74	2-Mar-04/11:47 AM
The better question Why did our government lie On forcing him out?
regarding some deleted poem...	etherealmaiden 66.71.73.78	2-Mar-04/11:57 AM
Pretty imagery
Re: Blonded by the Light by w~* ATHENA *~w	etherealmaiden 66.71.73.78	2-Mar-04/11:59 AM
interesting... in a good kinda odd way