Re: Nina Simone (part one) by zodiac	fevriere 62.254.128.6	8-Feb-04/8:51 AM
I liked the second verse.
regarding some deleted poem...	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.87	8-Feb-04/9:52 AM
And what of those whose tastes include... both snails and oysters?
Re: Taller Girl by lastobelus	zodiac 67.240.155.121	8-Feb-04/10:05 AM
.aff.e.cta.tion. It. ta.kesa.way fro..........m good/lines%like "her skirt in segregated circles" and 'turtling' down. 7 until you improve.
Re: The Mocking Bird by Caducus	zodiac 152.30.11.41	8-Feb-04/11:12 AM
Mockingbird. One word. "Violent ripples flow through her nipples" makes me laugh. Do you want more?
Re: Broken bridge by That One	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253	9-Feb-04/6:29 AM
"Watch your mouth, you slag," I said, and caught her with a right-hook. She fell to the ground in an instant. I kicked her in the kidneys. -10-
Re: After the ice season ~ shamelessly lewd revision by zodiac	lastobelus 217.226.21.57	8-Feb-04/1:27 PM
Once again I admire your ability to construct naturally flowing inversion-free rhyming lines. well I suppose there is one inversion, but it seems totally natural. I find myself wanting to know something about the reason for the long ice season... This has just a hint of "O western wind..." about it. Was that a source of inspiration at all? What if you made an explicit reference...would it add or just be trite?
Re: After the ice season ~ shamelessly lewd revision by zodiac	irishfolksuicide 81.178.236.178	8-Feb-04/2:03 PM
Good, a few nits. Lines 4-9 seem choppy compared to the rest. I am not sure carrying on a sentence on the next line when you have just rhymes drunk with sunk works. For me the sunk rhyme stops the piece before the new line.
Re: Secrets by gouvchick	irishfolksuicide 81.178.236.178	8-Feb-04/2:06 PM
Fine as far as it goes. The best haikus though are nature ones which portray a bond between images. There is no image here just abstract.
regarding some deleted poem...	irishfolksuicide 81.178.236.178	8-Feb-04/2:07 PM
So true.
Re: The Mocking Bird by Caducus	irishfolksuicide 81.178.236.178	8-Feb-04/2:11 PM
As sun is the same colour of jaundice, it is unlikely to take it away, just a thought. The hand around finger bit at the start is a nice touch to tell the reader you are talking about a baby. good
Re: In crowd by That One	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253	9-Feb-04/6:30 AM
If you remove the pointless gaps and the arbitrary line breaks, you end up with the following sentence: "I wish I was part of the in crowd." And that's not a poem; it's just a moronic sentiment. Well done! -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.165.172.185	8-Feb-04/2:55 PM
Does not quite do it.
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.165.172.185	8-Feb-04/3:01 PM
Very good boy and his dog tale.
Re: Kernel of truth by annabellee	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.87	9-Feb-04/5:27 AM
Never before has the arbitrary indentation been wielded with such senseless aplomb. -10-
Re: in you by fevriere	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.87	9-Feb-04/5:51 AM
Absurdly lewd. -no vote-
regarding some deleted poem...	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.87	9-Feb-04/5:59 AM
'And sometimes when you turn really fast in a circle you look happier' -- is this poeme about your dog?
Re: Serendipity (title suggestions wanted) by SupremeDreamer	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.87	9-Feb-04/6:05 AM
For fuck's sake, when are you going to stop torturing us with your bizarre attempts at 'wisdom'? Oxymoronic Quote Of The Day: "Victory is found not in triumph" -- SupremeDreamer
Re: Serendipity (title suggestions wanted) by SupremeDreamer	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253	9-Feb-04/6:21 AM
TITLE SUGGESTIONS 1. SupremeDreamer is Astonishingly Dim-Witted 2. SupremeDreamer is Amazingly Thick 3. SupremeDreamer is a Mega-Dunce Blessed with 10, you shit stain!!!!!!!11
regarding some deleted poem...	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253	9-Feb-04/6:26 AM
1. It's like ray-ee-ayn on your wedding day. 2. It's a free righ-ee-ide when you've already paid. 3. It's also like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife.
Re: My heart had a war...no body won by sonawrote	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253	9-Feb-04/6:31 AM
This is almost as good as the poetry of Crystal Lane Shit!!!!111 -10-