Re: Nina Simone (part one) by zodiac	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:14 PM
Nice. I'm consistently impressed by what writing I've seen of yours. In fact, yours are among the best I've seen here (or most anywhere online lol) so far. You ignored my email though :( heh anyway this is awesome. I'd tell you my favorite parts, but I'd be quoting most of this piece back to you.
Re: Friends come and go, but sisters lasts forever. by devina	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:16 PM
As a sentiment, it's...nice. As a poem, it's horrid. (Sorry). Definitely too cliche, not exactly well-written, and positively boring.
regarding some deleted poem...	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:19 PM
The two strongest lines here are "Before it can be stopped, it has begun" and "We kill each other's virtue, as if we ever had it." The rest is just kinda blah. Some decent imagery, yes, but nothing that grabs me. With the two exceptions I just mentioned, it's basically been said before, and this didn't shed any new light on the subject. But it is quite a bit more well-written than a lot of the other stuff I've seen here.
regarding some deleted poem...	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:20 PM
Pretty good. I like this one. No major suggestions or crits.
Re: Soft Speak; Hard Emotion by Blindpoetry	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:28 PM
If you are truly 13, then this is actually very good for someone of that age. It does need to be cleaned up some. I just skimmed the other comments, so if I repeat anything, oh well. Stanza 1, Line 2: "Your" should be "you're." L3: I cannot see a man as a "maid." Make him someone else. The gardener. The caterer. the friggin butler. anything but maid. :-) Stanza 2, line 4 "breathe" should be "breath." Stanza 3 Line 4 "thats" needs an apostrophe. Stanza 5, line 4..it's awkward the way you went from addressing her as "you" to addressing her as "she." Stanza 6 line 1 "i" should be "I". I'm laughing at "I hope you don't mind, I fired the maid"..that's great, even though I still don't think it should be a male "maid". Other than that, the way you are attempting to show action here is awkward as well. It's not a script for a play, it's a poem, right? You need to fix that.
regarding some deleted poem...	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:30 PM
cute. but in a juvenile sorta way. not big on the rhyme. rhythm's decent.
Re: La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.87	5-Feb-04/1:33 PM
A merciless hunchback of surprise.
Re: The girl next door by Jennichad	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:33 PM
I think this could have been a decent poem if it had been written in a different style. Here, as is, it's just too generic, although it has a decent rhythm to it. typo on curtain. I like "she fights one here alone."
Re: thinking while sawin' a few logs by Freethinker1602	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:34 PM
This has "Hallmark" written all over it.
regarding some deleted poem...	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:36 PM
Nice. I like it.
Re: How things should be... by DeadtotheWorld	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:37 PM
forced rhyme, stilted rhythm, and devoid of a single unique line.
Re: Some people don't know when to quit by Joe-joe	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:38 PM
This is cute and pretty well written. Entertaining read.
regarding some deleted poem...	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:40 PM
I like this one. Well-written, good flow, love S2. Nice :-)
Re: Homeland Security by Lenore	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:41 PM
Not bad...pretty well written, but I'd echo Rockmage and Zodiac's sentiments.
Re: A Beard Most Foul by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:42 PM
cute. can't take it seriously enough to really crit, but it's cute. in its own odd way.
Re: bluebells and none by richa	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:44 PM
Simplistic, but in a good way. I like this one. "crows" should be "crow's." I'd also throw a period after "...it was not stealing."
regarding some deleted poem...	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:46 PM
Ah, I finally got to something more than 3 lines long hehe. Pretty good, I kinda like this one. I wish it went a little more below the surface, but it's well done. Good imagery in S2.
regarding some deleted poem...	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:48 PM
eh. it's a little cute-sy and a lot boring. not big on the forced rhyme scheme.
regarding some deleted poem...	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:54 PM
This is pretty, and the rhythm seems good. Not bad. Why are grass and blue sky capitalized in line 1? Stanza 2 Line 2 is a good line, I like that one. "and whatever they feast" is sort of awkward. How about just "dreams of cake on which they feast" or something like that. Stanza 3, L2 is also rather awkward. in the dry what? I mean, I know what you're trying to get at, but it doesn't sound right. you could probably just put something like "while deserts crack, hot and dry".
regarding some deleted poem...	NanceXToo 24.229.216.168	5-Feb-04/1:56 PM
The best part of this is the title. The poem, while not a bad concept, is quite poorly written and grammatically incorrect. I do like your last line, though. That's entertaining. (Do you really not even know how to spell Jesus?)