regarding some deleted poem...	dclark 67.140.207.128	4-Jun-07/2:25 AM
free verse?
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 81.103.124.179	4-Jun-07/4:37 AM
Decent use of ambiguous language.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 71.68.46.177	4-Jun-07/6:33 AM
Too vague even for a Haiku.
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 67.172.190.253	4-Jun-07/7:07 AM
Chinese fortune cookie?
Re: Like a Whore {erotic} by sca	dclark 67.140.207.128	4-Jun-07/2:14 AM
this is a true work of art, i love it, and it ends perfectly
Re: [Gasp]{last letter, first letter} by sca	Ranger 81.103.124.179	4-Jun-07/4:31 AM
Ah, some most superb multisyllabic rhymes. You must like Byron.
Re: Love - In the Noughties by Skamper	Ranger 81.103.124.179	4-Jun-07/3:07 AM
'bleeding heart' and 'tongue whipped' could be changed. Good last two lines.
Re: Alive at 95 by nypoet22	Ranger 81.103.124.179	4-Jun-07/3:05 AM
Stanza 2 wants to follow s1's rhyme scheme, otherwise it looks like you had a good idea to start with but couldn't follow it through.
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 81.103.124.179	4-Jun-07/4:28 AM
If you died on a cross I would only know about it if you had a most excellent report on the BBC's website.
regarding some deleted poem...	sca 144.136.35.76	3-Jun-07/5:13 AM
Life as conveyed through the illusion of satyric toilet humour. Why yes, I think I like it
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 81.103.124.179	4-Jun-07/3:04 AM
lol, I tried to force myself to last the entire 3 hours of Inland Empire but failed magnificently.
Re: Barking Bargain by Dovina	Ranger 81.103.124.179	4-Jun-07/4:25 AM
Nice idea, it seems a bit bulky - prosaic in areas. I rather like the final stanza though, it makes perfect sense to me.
Re: Never Still by Skamper	Ranger 81.103.124.179	4-Jun-07/4:34 AM
Don't get too worked up about rhyming perfectly. 'figure' is a more subtle rhyme for 'river' in this context: if it seems like you're putting words like quiver in for the sake of trying to rhyme it gets distracting.
Re: Sunset Beach by amanda_dcosta	Ranger 81.103.124.179	4-Jun-07/4:46 AM
Nice musicality to this. One alteration I'd make - shiny into shining; it has a little more of an up-and-down cadence to it, rather like the waves.
Re: Sunset Beach by amanda_dcosta	ALChemy 71.68.46.177	4-Jun-07/6:32 AM
Gorgeous flow in this poem makes you feel the waves. I'd lose the "S" in "Pearly whites" to get a 10. Otherwise it's a good poem that carries it's point and feeling across beautifully.
Re: Sunset Beach by amanda_dcosta	Dovina 12.227.134.94	4-Jun-07/8:37 AM
Is "spice" a color? Could drop "the" from "the shiny." and "The cotton." "dreamy paradise" sounds cliche. the two above comments are good. Otherwise good.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 71.68.46.177	4-Jun-07/7:06 AM
I'm interested how you feel about Socrates. He must piss you off too. Those darn elusive martyrs. Poem needs more consistancy in its form. This sounds more like a Bill Marr rant minus the funny stuff.
Re: Let's Grovel For Jesus And Fight The Naughty Satan! by Sing4Jesus!	sca 144.136.35.76	3-Jun-07/5:15 AM
Although I can see why you'd get rated lowly, I also don't see how it's that bad as a poem. The religious nuts have to pull their heads out of their arses and realise you're supposed to rate a poem on it's merits, not your own personal beliefs. => Jess
regarding some deleted poem...	sca 144.136.35.76	3-Jun-07/5:07 AM
Mostly I'd just say you need to proofread, at least in the last paragraph/stanza. doesn't - miserable - lives - drowning How-ever I do like the subtle rhyme scheme, and how it's written a little like a story. Grief might seem like it intensifies, but in time time will heal. Oh the irony, but it does make sense. => Jess
regarding some deleted poem...	sca 144.136.35.76	3-Jun-07/5:11 AM
Although this isn't senryu, it's pretty alright. What does "braying" mean though? Should it be "playing"? Also, bollocks isn't actually a form of poetry, they were saying they didn't like your poem. => Jess (ps, small world, but at least before I rate your comment right now, one of my poems is directly below you on the rankings)