| Re: behind the banister by FreeFormFixation |
Dovina 24.75.174.198 |
16-May-07/4:12 AM |
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The colons in verse 1 are just silly. Do you mean hopped?
The rest is pretty good, but too much repetition.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Skamper 202.6.130.219 |
17-May-07/1:27 AM |
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First Date? LMAO
Excellent, conjures up all sorts!
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| Re: Portrait of the artist as [insert adjective] by Nicholas Jones |
Skamper 202.6.130.219 |
17-May-07/1:31 AM |
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| Re: behind the banister by FreeFormFixation |
Skamper 202.6.130.219 |
17-May-07/1:35 AM |
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Chilling.
Lyrical and a little mad.
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| Re: garden spite by skaskowski |
Skamper 202.6.130.219 |
17-May-07/1:37 AM |
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Somehow this makes me feel naked.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Skamper 202.6.130.219 |
17-May-07/1:39 AM |
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That's about the sum of it.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Skamper 202.6.130.219 |
17-May-07/1:49 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Skamper 202.6.130.219 |
17-May-07/1:54 AM |
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urgh! I can almost smell it from here...
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| Re: Fraser Allonby Quidnam Cruris by Stephen Robins |
Skamper 202.6.130.219 |
17-May-07/1:56 AM |
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LMFAO...So that's who ate all the pies!
Looove this...
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| Re: Beetles by cheese.doodles |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
17-May-07/8:46 AM |
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Excellent. I hate treading on things - like, you know, the earth.
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| Re: A twisted Trail in Edenâs Garden by Dovina |
amanda_dcosta 61.17.222.155 |
18-May-07/5:38 AM |
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Hmmm.. lemme see. Quite a few points came to mind when I read this. First of all, I like the theme. Secondly, I like the similar syllables used like... suckered, sold and saddened... and verdict, vouched and valid. Thirdly... its very good imagery you've pictured there at the end, ie. the last two lines. Very emphatic. Good work.
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| Re: My Soul Cries Out by amanda_dcosta |
ALChemy 71.68.46.177 |
18-May-07/9:28 AM |
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I love how you admit to god feelings many would feel uncomfortable speaking about to god. "erase those emotions that cause me to be disappointed in you" for instance. More prayer than poem but a very good prayer.
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| Re: Bookshop girls by Stephen Robins |
ALChemy 71.68.46.177 |
18-May-07/9:31 AM |
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The entire cast of Monty Python farts in your general direction.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
ALChemy 71.68.46.177 |
18-May-07/9:35 AM |
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Are you a Jehovah Witness?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
ALChemy 71.68.46.177 |
18-May-07/9:55 AM |
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You sure know how to flatter you wife don't you?
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| Re: A twisted Trail in Edenâs Garden by Dovina |
ALChemy 71.68.46.177 |
18-May-07/10:35 AM |
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Very lyrical. Nice to see that from you.
One must remember it took the devil himself to seduce Eve but it only took a woman to seduce Adam.
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| Re: My Soul Cries Out by amanda_dcosta |
Dovina 69.34.71.200 |
18-May-07/1:24 PM |
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Like a psalm. David's were just as honest.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Skamper 202.6.132.210 |
19-May-07/4:09 PM |
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Ah! the substance of true poetry!
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| Re: Bookshop girls by Stephen Robins |
Skamper 202.6.132.210 |
19-May-07/4:15 PM |
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Bookshop boys are a tiresome lot
Corduroy trousers
And a spotted bot
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| Re: My Soul Cries Out by amanda_dcosta |
Skamper 202.6.132.210 |
19-May-07/4:21 PM |
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There's a lot of this kind of poetry out there - standing out is a challenge.
"And erase those emotions that cause me to
Be disappointed in you."
A clever line - a definate keeper
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