Fuckling- neato. Overall: very bacchanal. Blessed with 8.

...looks like you went heavy on the padding.

Bravo! The poolpike has been born! Blessed with 9.

"If these cardboard walls could speak" Blessed with 9.

i think of ways to commit murder and make it look like a freak accident. everyones different ofcourse, heres a seven.

http://www.rathergood.com/gaybar/ I've got something to put into you at the gay bar.

I thought Italy is inclusive of everywhere, must be that i am wrong. If u ask a fool he wud nod n say this is great; since i am one myself i'd also nod n say u wanted 2 say more but u chose less. Just rem that anything that haunts is never short. Hence in the end i gota say its worth a 08max no more no less:o)

id hate 2 see ya in the rest o the week - what wud u be doing i hate 2 ponder...But liked ya ideas of childish n simple methods fr suicide. It brings in a strong end of the stick called emotion into the pic.. super wud be a mockery, but good wud be fair:o)

i hate the start but the end i like, mayhap cause drama is what i like. Most of all the repetitive instsistance ws cool..think ill grant u a 10 fr keep sake:o)

Fr the love of the lord...what in gods name is this.. A fucking what...

tought never escape fr my brain has claws..a rusty cage borded up with a chunk of glass... enough id say to keep them in as a green house wud...n i think.... i think...darn the thought is stuck n i hv lost the keys....So long:o)

Hey, not bad! - that last line though felt one beat too heavy; a slight nit. "children of scorn" was cute - made me think of children of the corn (natch). Stylistically the yoderian reversal of "liquored were", and "fuddled were" works out since it's consistent in two stanzas - that I can handle. Sometimes it's overdone (no probs here).

This sounds like a flip on something that goes on in another culture.

Do something dwith this. A sonnet, 4 quatrains... Go for 8 syllables per line. Good story. Bumpy rhyme. Do what it deserves.

I loved the dark melodrama of this piece. I give you a 9...

an unborn child talking to its mother before some fatalistic decision? Intriguing - and I like the voice.

I kept trying to figure if you have a bible reference in here (since you have synoptic) - but I gave up, sorry. Do you? Searching for meaning (I've put in as much as can be expected).

oh that damn muse - distracting us to insanity.

Do you kiss your mother - your grandmother - or (lord protect us - from your procreation) your children with that mouth?

A soldier home? A soldier wishing he were home? or a man watching way too much CNN and becoming corrupt by the media's single mindedness of continually showing the evils of man?