Jeremi B. Handrinos
on some deleted poem
3 Oct 2003, 4:42 PM
_O/
'|_
_(o)\_ + A kilo of cocaine and millions
of dollars in settlement money can turn...
-==O
__<|~|\___
\_(0)_(0)_\ In the blink of an eye.
love the lost and find feel here. like stumbling around an automotive junkyard.
of lights to drift.
eh? um..
were you rushing this one? it looks like it, because alot of these lines suddenly jump into the next without fluent transition.
ex:
but she slips coyly away
like a bride blushing,
translucent limbs in fluid motion
mesmerising as they pass...
suddenly translucent limbs appear? wouldnt it be better to mention limbs when you start talking about how she slips away?
looks like a rough draft to me.. needs cutting, sorting, and tweaking- 6 for now.
unscramble this THEN invert it. LISTEN for the rhythm. read it aloutd to yourself. it fixes things. promise.
This is near top-of-your-game stuff. Great tripodal balance you have with the serious/silly/outrageous. thats for you. personally.
heh.. i like the spurt of cls related writes.. but its beginning to lose flamesparks.. hrmm.. well, shit, since cls poems are in vogue all of a sudden, im going to move the jesusfreak parody up into recents for the occassion.
7.
Ignoramis me I have no IDEA who Crystal Lane Swift be. But if this is meant to be a character slam you have done swell.
This is so mystically mysterious that I have no clue as to what it means.
CLS seems to have gotten up quite a few tails. The joke must be on me for my tail is quite free.
I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard. I didn't see the original, but this is hilarious.
If you meant to be in spirrit mean, it certainly hits a target. If character splat is not where you're at, I'm looking down a tunnel.
Dear DA,
Thank you for the ten but your comment isn't welcome here. I've played the post, delete, repost, redelete game with you before. Let's not do it again.
Love,
OFA
A work of pure unmitigated genius. Poooooooooooooon!
This is my second attempt to find meaning past... here it gets a bit tricky. Small minds always exclude those who do not share thier belief.
Guess it must be an inside joke. Revenge is mostly vindictive.
some deleted user
on Unloyal Poon (Free Puss) by A Spanish Devil by <{Baba^Yaga}>
3 Oct 2003, 8:06 PM
This is plagerism and I've already sent the entire url, copied pg etc in. Get a life! Even to make a parody you need consent. How old are you? 7? And how can anyone think this is funny? You have multiple accounts and are a loser! You sit there behind a computer screen w/o a life tormenting others when in real life I'm sure you've had your share of attitude adjustments! You're probably eating a chicken leg, greasy, un showered, fat, holding your blow up doll, singing along with the Jerry Springer Show and crying to mamma on the phone about what your fat ass wants for christmas! Get a grip and try this in real life! I cannot give you an "L" for LOSER so a "0" will do!
some deleted user
on Unloyal Poon (Free Puss) by A Spanish Devil by <{Baba^Yaga}>
3 Oct 2003, 8:07 PM
Baba...?????????--> Bachus 24.126.113.154, horus8 24.126.113.154, Shardik 24.126.113.154, <{Baba^Yaga}> 24.126.113.154 Hmm...funny who those who leave nasty comments and re-write my poetry( Re: Unloyal Poon (Free Puss) by A Spanish Devil by <{Baba^Yaga}>) ALL have the same IP. Surely this person must have a life? I mean to go and re-write one of my pieces?
some deleted user
on Unloyal Poon (Free Puss) by A Spanish Devil by <{Baba^Yaga}>
3 Oct 2003, 8:08 PM
Jeremi B. Handrinos 24.126.113.154 I'm adding this name to the other list! Bachus 24.126.113.154, horus8 24.126.113.154, Shardik 24.126.113.154, <{Baba^Yaga}> 24.126.113.154 Too many people...1 IP.
I'm still here. ;)Just got sick of that guy harrassing me!
I see you tossed the foundational piece that my parody was built around? Have no fear I'll never get rid of mine, and we'll always have that together my love.