OK, the sentiment of building dreams on interpretations and looking for something to care for in somebody else, at least attempts to explore. the words are not necessarily poetic, and supress what rises in me is a bit kind of psychobabble, and loneliness my only companion has been used so many times before. But as I said it is OK, not bad even

I say "MEDIOCRE POEME CHECKLISTE AHOY", and frantically pull my trousers down in preparation. [_] AABB rhyming scheme [_] About romantic love [_] About writing [_] About suicide or self-mutilation [_] Arbitrary indentation [X] Arbitrary line breaks [_] Autobiographical but in the third person [X] Clerical errors [_] Clichéd imagery (gazing out of window, pits of despair) [_] Clichéd rhymes (love/above, heart/apart) [_] 'Depression' words (putrid, wretched, darkness) [X] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments [X] Devoid of rhyme [X] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices [X] Devoid of wondrous or fantastical imagery [_] Drug reference [_] Elves, unicorns, etc. [_] Insipidly whimsical or zany [_] Internet shorthand or emoticons [_] Leaving rant [X] Lower case only [_] 'Lyrics' [_] Melodramatic [_] Naively religious or superstitious [_] Obsessed with femininity [X] Overabundance of ellipses [X] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Rage against the machine [_] Reference to the author's 'social life' [_] Repetition of a word or phrase to the point of nausea [_] Sanctimonious [X] Self-obsessed [_] Sentimental [_] Smugly-named protagonist [_] Thesaurophilia [_] Untitled [_] Vicarious wish fulfilment -10-

That's heavy.

Ha ha, goooood one.

the rejected? hrmm. nice name.

Sizzlechest

'that lonliness is my only companion' - nice line -8-

hahahahhahahhahahahaha

[X] AABB rhyming scheme [_] About romantic love [_] About poetry-writing [_] About suicide or self-mutilation [_] Arbitrary indentation [_] Arbitrary line breaks [_] Autobiographical but in the third person [_] Clerical errors [X] Cliched imagery (staring out of window, pits of despair) [_] Cliched rhymes (love/above etc.) [X] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments [_] Devoid of rhyme [_] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices [_] Devoid of wond'rous or fantastical imagery [_] Drug references [_] Elves, unicorns, etc. [_] Exclamation points used to mark 'the funny bits' [_] Insipidly whimsical or zany [_] Leaving rant [_] Lower case only [X] 'Lyrics' [_] Melodramatic [_] Naively religious or superstitious [_] Obsessed with femininity [_] Overabundance of ellipses [_] Overuse of 'depression' words (putrid, wretched, darkness, etc) [_] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Protagonist has a smug name [_] Rage against the machine [_] References to the author's 'social life' [_] Repetition of a single word or phrase to the point of nausea [_] Sanctimoniously moral [X] Self-obsessed [_] Sentimental [_] Thesaurophilia [_] Use of internet shorthand or emoticons

I read this first thing this morning, and laughed hard has hell. Then, I thought, hey wait a minute... I wrote this? And LAUGHED EVEN HARDER.

[X] AABB rhyming scheme [X] About romantic love [_] About poetry-writing [_] About suicide or self-mutilation [_] Arbitrary indentation [_] Arbitrary line breaks [_] Autobiographical but in the third person [_] Clerical errors [_] Cliched imagery (staring out of window, pits of despair) [X] Cliched rhymes (love/above etc.) [X] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments [_] Devoid of rhyme [X] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices [X] Devoid of wond'rous or fantastical imagery [_] Drug references [_] Elves, unicorns, etc. [_] Exclamation points used to mark 'the funny bits' [_] Insipidly whimsical or zany [_] Leaving rant [X] Lower case only [_] 'Lyrics' [X] Melodramatic [_] Naively religious or superstitious [_] Obsessed with femininity [_] Overabundance of ellipses [_] Overuse of 'depression' words (putrid, wretched, darkness, etc) [_] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Protagonist has a smug name [_] Rage against the machine [_] References to the author's 'social life' [_] Repetition of a single word or phrase to the point of nausea [_] Sanctimoniously moral [X] Self-obsessed [_] Sentimental [_] Thesaurophilia [_] Use of internet shorthand or emoticons [_] Vicarious wish fulfilment

Lets just say I am a really mean reviewer. Read your poem over and think what things I could pick at. Do you see?

a masterpiece. 10

I just picked up an 8 ball, cheers. Salton Sea you later.

pick up the knife and cut those ropes

I give it a five... hehe.. see you soon little demi-sungod

makes me feel inadequate, somehow works like this make me wonder why i even bother writing 8/10

[_] AABB rhyming scheme [X] About romantic love [_] About writing [_] About suicide or self-mutilation [_] Arbitrary indentation [X] Arbitrary line breaks [_] Autobiographical but in the third person [_] Clerical errors [_] Clichéd imagery (gazing out of window, pits of despair) [_] Clichéd rhymes (love/above, heart/apart) [_] 'Depression' words (putrid, wretched, darkness) [X] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments [X] Devoid of rhyme [X] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices [X] Devoid of wondrous or fantastical imagery [_] Drug reference [_] Elves, unicorns, etc. [_] Insipidly whimsical or zany [_] Internet shorthand or emoticons [_] Leaving rant [X] Lower case [_] 'Lyrics' [X] Melodramatic [_] Naively religious or superstitious [_] Obsessed with femininity [_] Overabundance of ellipses [X] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Rage against the machine [X] Reference to the author's 'social life' [_] Repetition of a word or phrase to the point of nausea [_] Sanctimonious [X] Self-obsessed [_] Sentimental [_] Smugly-named protagonist [_] Thesaurophilia [_] Untitled [_] Vicarious wish fulfilment

I love it, it has a certain melancholy ring of truth. 'It's so hard to see reality...' Yea, and you never really know what it's worth unless you've been on the other side of that fine line.Anyway, I enjoyed this one. 10.

Hmmm. It's easy to get lost in this, the first time you read it. The second time it seems easier to understand. It must be painful, not knowing. Only one R in buried. 9.