Irischer Junge
on Friends by Irischer Junge
8 Sep 2003, 3:06 PM
This poem was written Christmas 2001.
This poem was written Christmas 2001.
Mr. Pig,
It's funny, I'll be 45 soon and all of a sudden I've begun thinking about growing old. I know I've got some time but 20 seems like it was here just yesterday. Getting old in and of itself sucks...what more do the aged endure when they are rejected and tossed aside by an ungrateful community. Its a reflection of our times and the throw away society we live in. God save us from ourselves! -7- Joe-joe
Here is a passage from the bible which has really spoken to me. It is Genesis chapter 9, verses 20 to 29.
20.And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21.And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
22.And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
23.And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
24.And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
25.And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
26.And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
27.God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
28.And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.
29.And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.
What I find most amusing is that you're 45 years old and this is the best poetry you've managed to produce. Gosh, I sure hope I'm as talented a loser as you when I'm 45. HA! I was writing better poetry than you when I was 12. Oops, I mentioned being twelve...suggests 12yo boy...now Joe's getting all excited. Calm down Joe. Didn't your bible tell you that you're not supposed to lust after children? Get it together old fella...not much longer till it's time to be judged...and we don't want to over work that ticker of yours.
I, my secret identity being Methusela, am 969 years old, and as such I enjoyed this poem greatly. I give you 10 for "he loads his fork gingerly" alone.
This poem is indescribably awful. Congratualtions. -10-
This poem was written Spring Break 2002.
This is the rest of this poem.. Dark Angel
I'd hope to fine a weapon
I might somehow employ
against these evil forces
with a notion to destroy.
Yet even this meager hope
to cleanse my broken slate
is hindered by a problem
my mind just can't equate.
If evil is only a spirit,
no flesh or blood revealed
it would be impossible to locate.
In my thoughts it's well concealed.
I can hear its mocking laughter
calling out to me
it's whispers drive me crazy
and says it'll never let me be.
Oh no, not another one. You know, theistic belief in itself does not offend me. For once I would like to see a well-considered, artistic, non-cheezy assertion of the Christian belief. I KNOW it can be done!
Not intensely thought provoking but it does grab the attention and is written with a certain degree of eloquence, though the cliched ending disappoints. 6
A gargantuan feast of imagery and if this day of verse should be our last then leave me drunk upon this honeyed marrow and with a hearty laugh and heady brow I raise my tankard and toast ye now.
Bloody good show -1-0-
Not a bad effort at all, last line lover.7
We slipped in to sadness is a useful line which could be better used. For example you write it like you wore sadness (like your heart on your sleeve) all you need is a line like the 1st one but with a follow up line which really hits home.
Too much mustard and not enough dog.
Uh-oh...it's happening again. He's racking up those fucking 10s. I knew I shouldn't have given him one!
Mr. Pig, good piece. Hey, can you elaborate on your suggestion for my poem, "Fury," I'm not exactly clear on what you meant. Thanks.
entirely unremarkable.
I liked the thin lip keeper.