Still the man with brass balls filled with solid gold dancers. or had his way with solid gold dancers.

Nice, but now who exactly is this directed at? eh? 9.

Nothing like women to inspire a poets pen to write.. nice. 9.

Fucking good.. i really like this poem. 10.

Nice allusion to Poe. It didn't really need the repeated verse at the end. Maybe it would be better if you did half a repeated verse, then changed the second half to give us more info.

This must be your idea of being sneaky and intelligent, and above it all. I agree.

I believe this poem to be worthy of much praise and an 'evolving' of your work.

lol. I am a fresh faced danger-teen. -9- Very playful, Very witty.

Ha--Garrett, there's some funny shit here. Might be even more effective if you carried the meter from the first stanza into each stanza--some of the changes would be pretty easy (o flat chested Annie, she'd take anyone's money/and anyone's honey she'd be . . . and always worked best [in] a crowd, etc.), some would take a little more work, but it'd read more like the ballad it seems to want to be. "Her arse was her fanny"--meh. Liked this.

3rd line from the bottom should say "silence is". I like the "wispier scratching...." part.

not bad, not bad. Doesn't get my blood boilin though. blessed with 8.

Submerged in what? If it's the only thing left in the room? Perhaps, it's submerging into it's own submergence? As my Mentor would say "You've strung together some wonderful words here."

http://www.salon.com/media/1998/09/01media.html I think you will appreciate this. Every good writer ultimately needs and editor. Even Stan rice had and editor!

well written. 8

Bunny, this is your best work that I have seen since I've been on here. You actually seem to have "grown" with this one. Nice solid sentences, refreshingly void of vanity. This is your new benchmark. Congrats!!

wow, this is fucking brilliant I just read it aloud. POW. You stole "Willingly slain" from me. You used it well, I'm pleased you feel inspired by me. Really great poem.

Yawn. How about a deeper look?

There you go #1. Now you can never say I never did nothing for you. Oh, and he's not a lady. He's an alien monkey head in a palanquin that likes to fuck with the Israelites and ragheads.Why I'm here to watch? Is the last of my worrys, and honestly, bores me to death and why religion is an utter waste of time and only works to seperate us as humans, more than color or sex ever will.

Might I suggest "Caught in the lattice of redemption," as lattice implies crossed slats... Title; I Am Anew. ...even though it's acctually my least favourite part of this work.

S-4 obviously. and the last line can lose (amongst) and simplify and still be ok.