Maybe you want to check your syllable count?

This has missed my heart altogether.

Interesting indeed.

Funny, I feel more impressed with this than the others who have left comments. I don't see how a 6 or 7 can be given if the poem is not understood or just "not bad". My 6 is because I understood this quite well and appreciated the aloof tone you have achieved with your word selection. I particularly liked "the deeds of power" giving the manipulation a technical/legal feel. As if, "No offence, it simply must be done according to the law of nature."

Whew! This is a bloated whale if I've ever seen one. Thank God you had a point. I guess I understand the repitition. I suffered, but the payoff was worth it. Please take another stab. This deserves better. 4

a little bit distant for a suicide poem, also you probably shouldn't rhyme so loudly on such a serious issue

Do me a favor, tell people you are not me so I don't have to field any more phone calls. And... Everything turns warm when you can't fucking breath. Except Chinese piss, which turns into a long distance operator hooked on watermelon jolly ranchers and ebonics.

Here's another ten, that way you'll fit right in with the other shit poets on the best list, because, that's how much your idea of belonging, ranks with me. Maybe one day with the help of all the votes you give yourself, you can run for poemranker mascot, and win a frisbee and free oil change, or a new face and legs that can support 500 lbs. 10!

It's ok... maybe I would like it a little better if it were deeper. Then I could feel it more.

well with haiku there's really not that much room to be creative. nice though

a lot going on here... i like it

a lot going on here... i like it

Sylvia Plath hated her father too.... "you do not do....black shoe"

If you could pause time... You wouldn't bother to even worry about feeling sorry for yourself anymore. They'd give a commercial, a comic book, a shoe in your image, and then you'd feel like the rest of them, listless and trite. And also, meant something to what? The kids at school? Your dog? Your parents? The world? Please, you're going to make me wheep sheep, big fluffy mutton falling from my baby boy eyes. Those that wait for change, never do. Grab life by the horns not the donuts.

I Think I gotta change that, I re-read it over and I just feel.. it's really good!! Nice idea anyway. I changed from 8 to 9! ;) - I didn't want to be that guy but unfortunately I was!

I Think I gotta change my mind, I re-read it over and I just feel.. it's really good!! Nice idea anyway. I changed from 8 to 9! ;) - I didn't want to be that guy but unfortunately I was!

It shows what you meant very clearly and I'm touched deeply... 8, though the rhyme in second stanza looks broken..

It shows much common events.. 6

in your line sixth, there's a typo "sacry" ? and erm, 'zombie' in this touching poem breaks the poem :/ but i like your wording, it makes people touching in some part.. i give you 7

How about "lapful"?