You forgot dislecive <- Yes I know I didn't spell it right but you know what I mean anyway. -8-

-10- for the title alone and well deserved by the poem above, because it is too true. If possible I'd give you a hundred for this one but I only have 2 usernames.

I've got that feeling when I smoked opium and then another 2 bowls of bud, when I was getting pretty drunk at a wedding. You should have huddled in a ball hiding in the corner. Just incase the acid flashback kicks in and then things get really fucked up. -10-

I see your improving, I'll wait

Oh and while your at it, if its not too much trouble, instead of just my thepinkbunnyofdoom, could you add in fluffy and rabbit? You know, the way it is on my email address if you forget the @yahoo.com thingy.

the lack of cliche and plain prose makes this valuable in a way. But I think it is a bit dull and the olde language is distracting. I can't really grab a line of reasoning from such a dense piece as well

the first verse I will break free to I will be free. Has potential to work but I think you need to use the same repetition in the other verses

a lot of nice idioms in here. And it reads well as a poem. the beach that used to be a throne is a bit naff though and takes away from the maturity of the overall

varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help

varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help

not bad, quite a tight effort

enjoyable to read, ambiguous yes but with certain bits to hang on to like 'boys ride by laughing on bikes'

I like haiku with a change of direction, all in 17 syllables. the rubber glove thing is a perversion right?

I wouldn't bother with the rhyme. This poem pretends to be profound then rhymes dashing and gnashing. It just seems a bit daft

not a lot of insight here and the description relies on cliche. However I do feel a certain empathy with these feelings but that is more what I bring to the poem than you I think

try not to rhyme so loudly when addressing serious issues. by the way I don't believe you to be addicted to anything. This is not focused enough

varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help

the paw reference usually applies to dogs and it makes me feel this is about a dog, but there is little further evidence. In fact this poem doesn't offer much for me to get into. still some of the language is of interest

reads a bit too fast for a poem not about the pace of change. Some useful lines

yes I like hot spices with flesh and this haiku