JoyLuck
on Standing by the Sea by thepinkbunnyofdoom
30 Jun 2003, 2:52 PM
interesting
ha
Poems inspired by dreams tend to suck a donkey's ass. See my poem entitled "Christ Kebab" for proof.
Dude, I love you, you beat me to it.
As told to Jon Bon Jovi.
Terrible.
A bit quaint.
Great cadence.
I've missed you
You end to quickly, as richa said, you shut down before it's really begun.
lmao. blessed with 10.
Very good indeed, sir. I would like to see more.
hrmm. interesting and perhaps funny.. but it lackes a certain spontaneous quality, because your title already layed out the end, or gave enough info for me to guess it. The final moral that you give for a conclusion, is a simple spurt of common sense. Then you attempted to make the last line catchy and funny.. but it ended up being boringly unamusing.
I like the story you did spin out though, except for the insane "form" we have here.. your lines are running all over the place.. what purpose does that exactly serve? to make reading the work annoying enough as to drive people to become lazy and not read it?
Young asian male whore: 200 dollars. Big poster of Dylan Thomas and some pink flannel drapes: 80 dollars. Subscription to Black Inches: 50 dollars. Poetic orgasm: priceless.
A good first poem for the Ranker C. but be fair warned that if they are all like this You are gonna get Flamed big time. Later Daze C. Later Daze. -8-
Actually Not true at all. Plenty to see her. I like. I'm looking forward to more. -8-
I like the way you get "anus" to rhyme with "fruit juice"
Exceptionally good. "Blessed with 10," as the SupremeGay would simper.
This reminds me of the disjointed contents of my uncle's ass-bag
THIS IS A HUGE PILE OF STEAMING SHIT. NEXT!
pudendom, lol. Good, much better, you've taken some risks here and I did see an imaginitive improvement. It still shit, but I chuckled quite a bit and that's big in my little world "Named Dreamer Supreme". lol, you crack me up, here's an eight so skate. You're lucky I'm performing this eve and I'm giddy.
Too funny, yep, I was there.
some deleted user
on MotherF*ckers Who Fuck Above/Two Story Apartment by JoyLuck
30 Jun 2003, 1:48 PM
How can you call this poetry? Other is right. There is no category for this garbage. I mean really, you don't say anything and it is offending.