I had Zebra rubbers on my headgear. I hated braces.

he looked at the tops of his shoes and realized he was out of his element really but what the hell these bastards are mad brilliant beautiful mayhaps they'll rub off on me. get it?

Call my wife and tell her about Moo Gai Pengs and I could be Call my wife and tell her of me and Moo Gai Pengs to at least leave somewhat of a rhyme going

The trick is that the strings and knife aren't really there. Therefore, your pretentious observation is paranoid futile projection based on what they taught you a knife and string were. What if you lived on an island, Islander, and on this island knives were actually tongue depressors, and strings were actually magical flying tampons. While the action of cutting, symbolized 'love'. Well, now that would change everything wouldn't it? No, it wouldn't, figure that one out, and you'll then also realize that this poem is about you not knowing you, and thinking that it's the other way around, and that's a magical flying tampon only you can love with a tongue depressor. Yes! Another belt slash upon the belt of horus8 THE AVENGER!

Do yourself a favor, and stop with the b.s.. Just focus on your writing skills and earn the respect you want. I had to. and I'm not done yet, either. Just a note. If I think a poem is 5 or less, I won't score it.

hey pink bunbun, this is decent. but to improve it you need to make it consistent. either get your meter and rhyme working throughout the whole thing, or drop it entirely and make your point without it. to mix the two makes it fall flat.

Very graceful (though watch spelling - 'futres'). Lovely alliteration of t and l in the middle stanza, you realy feel the tension and equilibrium there.

Writing is a constant process of taking the knocks, absorbing them and moving on - even if the knocks are unjust, unexplained or just plain spiteful. Of course, constructive criticism is useful, while abuse isn't at all. But the worst thing you can do is turn it in on yourself and worry at it. I have more 0s than I care to think about, but I only look at the 10s!

Olve the atmospher, the old farmer and all... I think it's possibly a little too preciously descriptive for my tastes, especially the clouds, but I'm an curmudgeonly old puritan about things like adverbs and adjectives. The casual cruelty of the farmer is very Heathcliffian in a bathetic kind of way. A nice touch.

An Unfortunate Gybing Incident (Horror) by -=Dark_Angel=- Ready about! Lee ho! *squelch* O Jesu, what have I done....

Sound

his knobby hands riding your hips? I'm confused by this image, like a coin operated horse at the supermarket? that implies a climbing on, straddling motion, which confuses me, wouldn't the woman be straddling? Not the man's hands... I'm confused. I like the poem, but I am confused.

I thought this poem was very beautiful. ^_^ To me, it sounds like it's about a woman who is waiting to have a baby, and it really displays alot of emotion. The imagery is wonderful, and I love the symbolism. This is very nice... ^_^

i dont like mine...

And what is it now?

I'm sorry , but wearing a hat backwards defeats so many purposes I just have to laugh.

Are you saying butterflies weep? I hope not, because that would only make me weep, and then pee my pants.

No comment. lol (Now it's three)

How about I record this?

That, or close to a freeway.