Its crazy 6

10..because i say so.. What a killer ending..

it's about youth, I think. I give you a 5

Almost dramatic, it reads like a thought process rather than a poem. You need to work on imagery and metaphor to make it stand out and grab the readers balls. 5

And a ten, a "smil" and a ten. Make that eleven. ele'en is one more then ten.

This is basic in all aspects, lacking imagination and any interest value for the reader. In your work I have read thus far some of your lines are good, quite dreamlike, but as poems rather forgettable. Dust yourself down and keep bangin them out. 5

in other words, ah-ah-achoooo!

what effect does your gamma ray machine have on man-in-the-moon marigolds?

its a fantastic poem, i actually like all your work i've read so far.

By the way I would say tintagiles is by far the best imagery poet on this site, you wanna listen to the geezer.

I totally wish i hadn't given your other poems 10s..or 9s...or whatever...because i think this blows them ALL away.. I might have to think about this for awhile..because..i can't decide whether captitalization would work better for this one..I know it's not your style..but sometimes they flow better..or whatever.. I LOVE THIS!..mmm 10..i am thinking..

i hate rhyming..but this was actually cool.. Actually, the last two lines were cool.. i'll widen my vocabulary, and give you a 5.

"Solider"!!!!! GOD DAMNIT! HAND SALUTE! atteas "solider". you're excused. (sometimes I look at my younger brothers and sister and openly weep for the future, kids just aint bright no mo'e by gershoewitz)

Garret? Would you say that refering to your self as a 'blurryphotograph' is a sighn of low self esteem or high self esteem (sigmund, is in the corner gacking a line, Jung is polishing his telescope on the veranda) Garret! Garret! but Garret has passed out again with the stove on and blackening macoroni and cheese 'a' flame. fine, it's not a sign, or metaphor, for self mutilation imaginitavely or physically, i'm sure everything is 'a' okay upstairs with our Rachel. Sig Heil!

Zin, Zin, Zin!! So close, but say what you really feel at the end: The drink is unfinished. Is the thirst slaked or unquenched? The old half empty or half full riddle, ya know?

Perfect my fellow. This says all it needs to say about war, powerful and conclusive my dear friend I am honoured to have read it. 10

Shardik Sir, if you have time out of what one imagines a busy schedule please will you click in the comments section of my user name and see a comment I left on one of Nicholas Jones poems about politicians. Sincerely Laurence.

Not sure about lifes breath and loneliness you have spelled wrong other than that its quite a nice mad 5 minutes you had in writing this. 6

Rachel, are you a blurry photograph?

Asian sluts rock beavis.