! Really good! On first reading, it really flowed, and the images strong. Good good.

what can I say... 10

Mellifluently told ! Remember when taking on board the sound advice and suggestions given be careful not to disrupt the poignanancy you have masterfully created in here. perfection is a bridge too far, but by golly its in sight. Well done my boy on a bloody fine poem 10

JUMBO SHRIMPE LOSES TO KING PRAWNE

Love the first part. Not crazy about the second part. don't like the fat lady. But what the hellmp.

Where is Bob?......u have a customer Bob.....that'll be 10 bucks for Bob maam

this one's awkward: Is there adequate oil to supply the lanterns? too many questions; yes must be the answer. why must you always have it your way?

Oh... Look... I've cried in my pants again, i swear.

very nice bud, however not as inspirational as the blooding, but still as a concept piece, pretty damn fuckin fine.

So why are the Astros still the Astros if they no longer play on Astroturf in the astrodome? Now, that is a conundrum. Well, maybe not.

We like the moon. the moon is way high in the sky! this would make a good song lyric, but not as good as the we like the moon song.

ha ha! lol. Sounds like the new Mcdonalds jingle, or Yuban coffee song.

It sounds as if you are plunking both the money and the mug the way it is written. Needs a comma to separate into two thoughts or a rewrite. You lifted a casket? Or just opened the door to the booth. Again, sentence structure is confusing. I really like the final stanza. Some of the lines are quite fine, but the build up leaves me wanting a bit more and I think it is tied up somewhere in the grammar at the beginning and just a bit of wandering in the middle. But I like what is being said and the idea behind it (London is fine the way it is. If people do not know London Ontario then screw them - not you though, Z), but I think the entire poem needs to read with the strength of the last stanza.

PLEASE EXPLAIN HOW THIS IS POETRY. THE ONLY SIGN OF POETRY I CAN SPOT IS THAT YOU HAVE INSERTED LINE BREAKS AT THE END OF EVERY OTHER CLAUSE.

Opal moonlight Plays coyly on my gilded cape. Did you notice My bloodied anguish Drip down upon the scarlet garden? AND SO FORTH IN THAT VEIN.

mmmmm coffee. beverage of the gods.

After reading this I longed for gin and an Indian servant boy to serve me rarebit out on the verandah. It captures the very nature of colonialism, and, as such, should be required reading for the "liberated" wogs in Iraq. Top-notch, old boy!

she wanted soft shells for him, oreganato-- a fingerbowl, please!!

Hey gw, I'm curious to see what you think of my recent posts, specifically "the photobooth".

This is the question that has plagued mankind for centuries now. Oh, hang on...no it isn't. Indeed.