Quit reading Calvin Trillin.

I still haven't figured it out yet, dahling. Sorry.

Looks mostly excellent but I have some Q&A on this be back tomorrow.

It is obvious that shadows feint, that is why they are shadows. I am not sure you need to tell the reader that. "fairies in dandelion’s" - what the hell are these. You cannot have realist images and throw these oddities in. It does not work. Even with some of the unabashedly overdramatic langue. "dry death of leaves" = again like the shadow image, there seems to be too much language here. The reader knows that dry leaves are obviously dead. Love is not a constant, "Love is an instant, And love favors the weak, They are the dreamers like me who weep" = you change the context with these lines into a telling montage, which comes off as some sort of didactical statement. What is the purpose of telling the reader these things? Why not let the poem show them without the author butting in and telling the reader how he feels. Engines purr? The end just rips into pure sap, which ultimately makes the poem fail, but with a rewrite and a lessing of tone and making the context clear (i.e. this is an adult flashing back at his first lost love? Only the Sycamore tree, which is a cliche, shows this. If it is an adult-to-adult relation then the Sycamore tree, which is a cliche, makes it seem young and trite). Sort out the context and maybe you will find the poem in here.

good wordplay as ever great flow A few cliches near the end 'tangerine skies' and 'moon turns to rust' doesn't seem to mean anything. I dont think the poem would lose much if you binned them. As for dandelion fairies, a perfectly fair description.

like the lamb stood dead line perversely fun imagery excellent

You Doved off the pier.

Change 'hob' to 'nob'.

A short poem to commemorate my morning: A young man of passions quite gingery Tore a hole in his sisters best lingerie He slapped her behind And made up his mind To add incest to insult and injury

this measures about 2X life size on my screen--about 4 1/2 inches in length. trash it, bj.

what? do you really really want a sore red one and little orange wings? poof! you got em.

"Eden's moors" ? This fragment help this work transcend poetry and takes it into the rarefied atmosphere of 100% Grade A Wisconsin cheddar. I give you a 10 for you rpassion and a 3 for the poem.

Thank you all for your constructive comments. I wrote this as a young fry and PAKI thank you for your time in studying this. It was written more like a sonnet and a testament to naivity in love. God Speed. Dark Angel, did you ever watch crazylegs crane? (it was on after the pink panther cartoon?

Thank you for this mam, wonderful.

I did find the picture of the American and British soldiers quite hilarious of them 'chilling' on may say in his palace smoking.

Very sweet, in a good way, but slightly over the top at the start. I have to go marketing right now but wanted to take a look, I'll be back later. I like it, lot's of simile and metaphor, my favorites, welcome back. I think you mean 'window' at the end.

Hey its Porkypig? why d'yah never vote an any of my stuff huh? This is cool pigface.

I forgot to ask... if I come across you doing this again sometime, what do I do?

Change 'Semper Phildelis' to 'Semour's Phalus', or possible 'Summer Pedophiles'

Is Astros a Burger joint?