Ranger
on some deleted poem
15 Mar 2003, 2:12 PM
As I said before. Ah...
Ah...
I like it.
This would be great asshole if you weren't using my name.
Oh homeless of San Fransisco / Strong of heart / Strong of spirit / Get out of my way before I beat you to death with my fucking nuts.
Superb, just superb.
A couple are out on the syllable count but hey. I am another who doesn't get the White Stripes. Are they good or are they shit? Counting Crows are good...
Did I not say before that "Loosing" should be "Losing"? Not to worry.
I still don't like the 1st 2 lines, they still need something less frequently used. Perhaps:
"Thoughts sliding down onto the floor
From a mind which reamins so unsure"
Keep working on it and it'll get there in the end. Why delete all the previous comments? Keep them to remind you of the progress you make (it also makes people really impressed when you've got loads of comments and they'll look at your poem and leave their own comment).
Anyway, I've given you my thoughts on yours, now give me yours on mine ya selfish bastard.
Needs less of the images and more elaboration on the ones you keep. Try keeping it simpler-less 'varied' but with more realistic ideas. My earlier poems are like this but I've learnt from them-you could do the same.
I also think you should write a poem called 'Limbs', damn fine idea Horus old boy.
How much should i pay you a month to continue the legend that is me?
Since you've been writing under my birth name settle, you've sold me an extra 100 to 200 dollars a month! That's almost a thousand dollars Me, Nadine and micah just wan't to say thank you, for the brilliant advertisizingt technique (not quite Saul Bass but close). It's beeter than Fellini's 8 & a half (by the way my mentor designed that movie's poster! not that you need a j-o-b, [he's dependant on mom's cut, of course]). Amazing really. Where should i send your cut? Also, my web site gets like an extra 200 hits! it is amazing. you are a genius!
too short and no point or purpose, im not quite sure how this got on the top 15 list, prolly because the users would rather sit around and trash other peoples stuff than write their own stuff
what do you want from me? it's not how it used to be. You've taken my life away, you're ruining everything etc.
ha ha. someone blue three'd this. shame. i'll give it a 7. some were quite amusing regardless of the fact that you're not really.
Even funnier, but the Ghost's of Mars? was a horrible movie, just a complete waste of my last hamster cannon.
What should i bring as a sacrifice? PIG! pork, is the squealmeat of the future. Jews and ragheads just don't get it my dark queen.
hoax.
Oh...
Um. Poemranker's becoming weirder by the minute...
Someone help me out here.
I love you all.
You may have a 9 zzinnia