hipster flare
on some deleted poem
13 Mar 2003, 9:29 AM
Nicely Done.
craftless. try again.
most excellent. nicely done. tengo fuego en mi pantalones.
moving.
softy. sniff.
Just for the heck of it, roll this into a villanelle. good as is.
get rid of addressing the reader as "you", and escape from the ordinary in line 2.
intricate and fractal. perhaps one day you can tell me what it means, for now I am content to turn it over and over in my hands and puzzle, watching for the light glinting off elusive facets.
bah
the universe couldn't care less
whether we oppress or progress or transgress
but with every breath
it is only to death
it demands that we all acquiesce
Nicely Done
brilliant.
oh fucking brilliant.
jesus, this thing is a fucking neckers cube in words, baby.
very nice, first stanza rocks & the yourself more self repetition is brill.
pickety-snickety: should in the quill not be with the quill?
Something very intriguing about the v-form. I can't figure its purpose quite yet.
I like it, H8; but spell it 'Separating'.
iron out the telling spots. this can fly.
interesting, but it doesn't quite hit it.
grandpa liked moonshine, didn't he?
ok.
jingle jangle, words to mangle
hist'ry with my shit be-spangle
fate really doesn't give a fuck
'bout anything, it's all just luck