Beautiful language that you used. Keep up the great poetry =)

p.s.--this is one of your best.

poetry is not a sleeping form. beware of the overstated.

Very romantic. Nice useage of language. Keep writing, it's wonderful.

I love it! Keep writing, I'd love to read more.

i'll take danish bleu over cookies any day.

keen-edged hurt, here. did you know that these regrow? they will look and feel different--maybe a different color or shape--they will have different sensitivities. but they will serve you well, as you will them. it's not over. step into the current. get washed away in the whitewater. it's the only way to fly.

hey, intransit. some questions for you: do inuits chant when fishing? does this scare the fish? because of these nagging thoughts, i have issues with the way you have changed the poem. you have taken something pritine and clear, and thrown sediment into it. the chant is too sentimental, i think. if spiritualistic contemplation is your aim, change "auger" back to "augur", and go from there. your second chant changes him from automaton to thinker, which is not a bad shift, but, i think, shows too much intrusion of mind for a piece that focus on rote. it's a start of a shift, but not an entire shift. okay, the thoughts came out full formed. trim them.

must you end it without a match? or is the pass-out implied here? more, more, more. (S1--roll, not 'role'?)

Well, predentistry. That pretty much explains it (your lack of poetry) Get your fucking face out of peoples mouths man. There's a world around you. If you want to be a poet, you go to school for it too, understand Durt? Don't come to a fucking poetry site and think you can write us a prescription of extra weak tylenol, and convince us that you have something noble to say. It's really unimpressive, and frankly in poor taste sir, good daye

Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! keep writing? ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! has it ever crossed your mind that you are terribly uninteresting? get off of the floor nobody gives a fuck, do you know how many kids went to highschool before you? went through the same shit? You make me ashamed. Grow up, get up, shut up. This poem wins THE BRASS TURDE AWARDE (created by me and da, and settle, in a basement of an attic on a submarine full of prawnes scantilly clad in your tear soaked g-strings, perhaps you should swallow a fucking bottle of Durt's Tylenol? Hey there's a thought... Oh but alas that wouldn't leave a scar would it? Try taking them while jumping off of a building then... Yeah now that's a scar. My motto is either do it (kill yourself) or shut the fuck up, okay? because in case you haven't noticed in the world around you? we have oil to steal and no extra funds to vitamin e your scars whelp. You are on your own. Get up, but don't keep writing. try voice lesson it works for most badly dressed whiny canadien and american and european pop starletts who have an important message such as yours? What was your message again? ah... yes, small tits. next.

Oh my. I love it! Haven't seen anything like that. At first I was like "Well this is stupid" but I totally changed my mind. This poem blows my mind! Mind if I print it out and show it to a few of my friends? Keep writing. You rawk as far as I'm concerned.

Degrading towards women...focus your poetry away from offending language.

nicholas--there's unplanted topsoil here, until the last 4 lines. stop telling me. you've fallen off here. use your eyes to write with, your nose, your fingertips and toes.

you need a colon or the word "were" after "Her symptoms"; i'd recommend the colon, and deleting "Yet," and "So," to tighten it.

there are some spelling errors and grammar mistakes...how does a bathroom make you piss outside...and if it's a 'room' how is it outside...

Doesn't make much sense... but who am I to judge? Keep writing.

lol. here's your three back Durt in the form of a two. Why? This is neither informative, daring, poetically different in any manner what so ever, but overall, the theme is as common as ice cream on a hot day. You are about as creatively interesting as CNN. Sorry. Now if she drank gasoline while it was on fire you'd be onto something now wouldn't you?

i think i love you.

oh, if only.