Re: Suck it up for God by Engelbert Humpalot	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	14-Nov-06/9:08 AM
A heavily laden negro-nappy.
Re: Be The One by forsaken	Sunshine Conkey 169.139.225.2	14-Nov-06/11:41 AM
I like this one~I'm adding it to my fave list
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 62.252.32.15	15-Nov-06/6:54 AM
*groan* that's the sort of terrible pun I usually love ;-)
Re: Just words by aliena	Ranger 62.252.32.15	15-Nov-06/6:55 AM
Fair enough. You might want line 12 to be 'because today I wanted to create' - just to keep tense consistency with the line after.
Re: Just words by aliena	howl 81.179.127.249	15-Nov-06/1:37 PM
This is pretty good. 'And words are the easiest' is rather cack-handed (the easiest what/of what). I like 'break them across lines'.
Re: tormented suspicion by pollywolly	howl 81.179.127.249	15-Nov-06/1:40 PM
replace 'brings forth tears/ to my eyes' with 'brings forth tears/ to my bum'
regarding some deleted poem...	Dental Panic 84.27.81.27	15-Nov-06/2:32 PM
Okay, carma, that’s nice. But it’s a bit long. Basically, it comes down to this: if I wear myself out the way I wear my cars out I’ll get toe-tagged and towed to the scrapyard by a truck I think it could even get shorter: if like my cars I drive myself in the ground I’ll end up toe-tagged in the scrapyard
Re: Just words by aliena	aliena 208.54.15.129	15-Nov-06/9:07 PM
Thanks Ranger! Point taken. Will make the change in the revised version.
Re: Just words by aliena	aliena 208.54.15.129	15-Nov-06/9:08 PM
Thanks Howl. I agree. I am thinking of a suitable line to clarify my intent.
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Nov-06/11:14 AM
***Newsflash (An Update that is not an Commente)*** Kazakhstani officials are threatening to sue Sacha Baron Cohen over the way their country is portrayed in the Borat movie. -10-
Re: Street Talkers (Amnesiac) by Fear of Garbage	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Nov-06/11:19 AM
'He keeps babies hugged inside his hollowed bowels' is a -=Dark_Angel=- line if ever I heard one.
Re: For China by Fear of Garbage	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Nov-06/11:28 AM
Aside from 'gloppy', this is excellent
Re: Celebrity by horus8	INTRANSIT 65.31.112.143	19-Nov-06/9:08 AM
Damn. Homeboy went off. Do you really want crits on this?
Re: Improvisation by MacFrantic	Dovina 200.76.226.9	19-Nov-06/2:08 PM
A splended path is not so bad, even a rcky path. Wh cares where it leads.
Re: Though I m lost, Love is not by Prince of Void	Dovina 200.76.226.9	19-Nov-06/2:11 PM
Illusions are not so bad, even beat reality much of the time. Why imagine agonies?
Re: Fifteen by Dovina	INTRANSIT 65.31.112.143	20-Nov-06/4:36 PM
(new) downy mustache something about the distant mountain folds- makes no sense to me. I'm assuming the pomegranate berries are your period/ovulation. Why do you run and what exactly are you running from might flesh (no pun intended) this out .
Re: In sickness and in health by Schlinkey	Dovina 70.38.78.229	20-Nov-06/5:01 PM
Pure and Vile must be their names. It seems the "sickness" theme should be developed, perhaps in relation to Vile.
Re: Send The Devil... by horus8	SupremeDreamer 75.35.231.137	22-Nov-06/11:10 AM
Alas, it is good... I haven't spoken to you in awhile horus. I've finally gotten round to reading Manly P Halls book, and a curiosity holds me- Are you a mason? This question feels stupid, then again, it's better to get stupidities out of the way. Aside from that, how are you doing you fuckin bastard? My new email is sdreamer2234@yahoo.com - maybe I'll hear from you soon. Peace. And heres a ten, though we both know it means nothing.
Re: Fifteen by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 61.17.22.38	24-Nov-06/8:31 AM
hmmm. not bad. I have never climbed a pomogranate tree although we have 'em here. But I can say its a very tasty fruit.
Re: To Love One Another by Sunshine Conkey	amanda_dcosta 61.17.22.38	24-Nov-06/8:37 AM
First of all, I see that you mentioned its someone else's poem. So, am not sure if I should grade it. Apart from that its a nice sentiment, very true, but with spelling errors.