offensive to females. 5

in the first verse i believe its "hung" not "hanged"

I'm comfoozled Mr. Pig.

Not too big on the first line, but the rest is awesome.

bah. my necrophilia poems were much better. so were all the ones I wrote about unusual anal stimulation. bah again.

I hate it and i think its pure crap

thanks for the clarification. that said, very cool.

Could be funny, but it tries too hard. And, the meter is off. (Perhaps you should let go of your peter.)

Ah, Pig. I would like the chance to tweak this for you, but it needs a night in my unconscious. I shall sleep with it under my pillow, and, if you'll permit me, offer some words on the morrow.

I dub thee Ass Wipe. Poeple say I'm talentless....I try to write pathetic shit, you however....huh not intriuging in the least

wow not many know what fib. #'s are. I'm impressed.

Righty Ho then bombs away ! I was frustrated at the finale of this piece as there is so much fun one could have with this. Their are a multitude of metaphors you could utilize representing 'her' in the last line, # 1) who is she lets give her a name, if oyu look hard enough you will find in latin or the omega plenty of demi-gods representing the universe. Something as infinite as this subject requires infinite literature. Also what is this distant planet, do tell us more. wher eis it? describe its solar rings, write as if you are watching the majesty of the deep dark universe and take us there my boy. Now on the positvive sides what a wonderful opening 4 lines, alas from there you may have got a bit lazy. Now I do hope you modify this poem because I think it would make a bloody nice change from sex, that seems to dominate and pollute the beauty we are here for. Oh there i go again oh dear, I get lost sometimes in the passion of the piece. Now I must go and water my geraniums so i bid you good day sire. --6 and please do think of what I have said. I will ask around on my travels for people to read this, infact I'll ask Mr Horus.

Now thats more like it, at last all I've seen is sex sex sex and frankly I am sick of it. Thank you for this its so pleasing to see one is hungry for knowledge other than pantomime pornography. Now my dear boy, there is something else please help me. I promised Quarton who has just posted a poem about space, that you may be able to help him with stanza 2, he may think me a darn fool but I loved stanza one but he needs to do something to stanza 2 its simply a beef wellington short of the sage, Please see what you can do I have offered some sound advice to the gentleman but theres a bloody fox trying to get at my chickens, so I must go and sound the pipe horn. Thanks awfully my boy. oh how rude heres a double ..10

DAMN GOOD man i think ur poem s excellent i am the one u wrote about and said dont kill yourself and u thought i was a hormonal young boy and i am not a boy and i am a girl i am 12 years of age and i would just like to point that out my poems are not even as half as good as yourss are because i have only been writein for like 4 years off and on and as i can imagine u have alot more years on me with both age and writing poems and just everythig about it i would appreciate it if u could maybe coach me into how making peoiple visualize my poems..u are probably thinking why would i want to help her...well because this could maybe be my career i love writing and i would like some herlp from a professional..thank you

I'm not offended, just bored. Garbage, don't speak for all of us.3

impressive. must be a weird experience.

steaming cups of nether nog this poeme does truly suck. here's a delightfully phallic 1 for you.

Truly thou art the sparkling, pulsing, throbbing example of the shining ass-maggots of bad sex poemes.

Oh my dear boy I seem to be lost, I clicked on the wrong poem, but will read this as a courtesy, Back in a jiffy.

Astounding my dear, well done a beautiful embrace of the language. Good bloody show !