some deleted user
on Feeling by chicka_babe05
13 Feb 2003, 6:02 PM
I like the pulsing rhythm.
Golden Q- tip Awarde...
Magnolia.
very lovely i like the wording-i did post that poem i showed u by the way
Ya fuckin' got that right driVER!
it made me cry. very hard to do. well done it puts everything into perspective.
true to structure. content was a touch flighty.
I was hoping for altered states, but what can you expect from a flashback as compared to the real deal.
Nice one. Have you seen stephen king's "cat's eye".e
Wow. I like the gentle imagery... reminds me of waking up alone too.
Almost narrative, but without a clear story climax or punchline. I'm left guessing about your need to be quiet, not filled with an image or archetype, or having it explained.
You know J-Bone, with a little luck you could become the next Kane Hodder.
Chirpe... this will make me ponder the chirpensity of my soul while i'm shooting a coors light commercial in mammoth next week. thank you.
Ok, so I took a few looks and I think this is entertaining and interesting. It has some small problems, you proboably should re-write this as many times as it takes to get it right. I like the verses, and, with the exception of the fourth verse, find them easily understood. But why are theye speaking in rhyme? It doesn't make sense to me. I especially like the hopefullness at the end, symbolized by a big smile- very Dickens. You lefting wanting to know more about the fate of these innocent souls. Write me another chapter.
neato.
impressive images.
nice one. I love the "roam my cortex" bit. I love it more than I love toast.
true.
Flucke...
Who me??? Or is this yet another poem about your penis??