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on There is no Happy Hour in Bakersfield, Ca. by horus8
3 Dec 2002, 8:43 AM
excellent.
please fix the ???'s. and pick me up at 7. eight's too long a wait, love.
I liked this poem.
There were some parts I didn't quite understand. Fourth stanza, second line; Ninth stanza, first line.
It has good flavor, though. And I like the allusion to um ... brain dead ... Mending Fences, I think.
ah, the power of cheese
drugs, schmugs. excuse me while i go shoot up.
This poem transmits a powerful sense of heartache. but in one or two places I was thrown. What do you mean by "before the quietus of us"? Also it is not altogether clear whom you are addressing always. In the second verse I thought it was me, the reader, then later it is plain you address your loved one. But I found myself very moved. Well done.
Some lovely construction and rhythym.
Quite wonderful What a good poet you are.
Deeply evoking. Great.
Very funny. A nice (old fashioned meaning) touch. Stylish. Elegant
A fine ertoric tribute to some great rumpy pumpy (as we sometimes call it in the UK)
Some lovely images and a sure touch
Great stuff. I really enjoyed it.
ha! nice job.
I was just thinking what a nice name this was, and so old fashioned, like Fannie or Fan. I thought I might write something about it, but haven't you beat me to it? And so well... 10.
nice job.
typo
much, much better now.
i still wonder why you use so.many.periods.?
Beautiful, coherent and with a master's touch, this poem deserves the accolades it is receiving.
Very dull