Ranger
on some deleted poem
22 Nov 2002, 1:20 AM
Class
You should train the dog to kick back
I think your subject matter kind of overwhelms the poem. There are are some very good images and phrases, but I'm not sure it hangs together.
strong as fuck until the end..perhaps instead of bugger...ruff ruff, or why wont my tail stop wagging for more?.7.
trouble is the buckets full of organs. You should be educating yourself on late night channel 5 B movies, you'd see plenty of 'buckets' on that (all botox and no brains)
oh dear, i had no idea the ranker was inhabited by a load of wrestling fans
I have to agree with Mr Jones,this really is naive and unecessary,just a propaganda exercise to stir up support for your poetry.
A genuinely cliched attitude;I don't condone terrorist attacks in any way,but have you ever considered WHY the USA is hated so much by some countries?If you're going to start stirring up patriotism,at least try to balance it out, lets not forget what it can lead to.
I like the way this builds up,it almost feels like a series of brief flashbacks, whilst retaining a poignant air.Nice work
Loved the last stanza, how can this be criticized i wonder?
Jim eats in Korean restaurants, atone the bastard after your dog goes for a piss dress it in his underwear while he sleeps, hes just jealous he cant lick his own bollocks and noone else wants too either
well done
As my surnames 'owen' I had to support the welsh half of me. You possess a lot of talent Mr Jones, you illustrate literature in to clarity with your style.
Maybe our paths will cross again, I would value your opinions/critique on my work.
Are you a wales fan? their playing better than England at the moment at soccer
fix your 1st line 'must' ok?
Bastard is spelled this way BASS-TURD! and i prefer to be called James. thanks.
the material involved in this piece is definitely savory, but the ??? shit has to go danny..if you fix it i'll give you an eight just for the false teeth and wig jettison.
If this poem was good, it would be good...
An interesting perspective - but not well explored. 5. Keep 'em coming, you'll get there. I hope.
I want love, but its impossible, isnt this robert downey jr?
8 because you have nice toes
evaporating piss clouds on the move..intriguing indded.8./