<~>
on some deleted poem
16 Nov 2002, 7:56 PM
i want more beans.
Saccharine.
it is so deep! This poem really makes me think, and whoever wrote it deserves a cookie and some tea
Great! Amongst the many things I have to learn about here, now I gotta research foxes too? fuck. Oh well,learn sumpn new every day right?8
'sore' should be 'soar'. Actually, it should be blank, since this poeme is an unmitigated train wreck. A gushing love poeme about some dead guy you know nothing about is the worst kind. What is your point? Do you think you are somehow thwarting people's expectations, or contradicting their beliefs, about Tupac Shakur? You are not. This truly is the most awful thing ever. Perhaps once you've learned to stop worshipping corpses you'll be able to write proper poemes. Probably not, though, since you're obviously an idiot of the First Class.
Apart from anything else, do you really think Tupac Shakur would have wanted people to spend their lives writing overblown, misinformed rhyming eulogies about him. I doubt it.
Also, what the fuck do you mean by "he'll always be there in your face to make you laugh and flaunt"? Why would he make you flaunt? How? What is it that you would be flaunting? Perhaps you meant 'gallivant'. Indeede, I suggest you change all verbs in this poeme to the verb to gallivant, and then we shall see.
you can almost hear the silence... well feel it, because how do you hear silence?? another cookie and orange tea is in order here
Sometimes a poem can make me kneel. My only strange complaint is in 'birdsong bounty' I want you to drop 'bounty', and 'flight'. What do you think?
This is simply hilarious. Please, someone tell me this is a pastiche. I'm not voting 'till I hear. It's a 0 or a 10. It's the ultimate!
Dude, this is true. And if you want, a great place to start progressing.
You might consider replacing 'hate' with 'h8'
Wow, great tug of emotional war here. I can't imagine what women go through.
you have 42 comments and one vote? hysterical......let's you called on me for opinions...you being one of my mentor's...that i might give you some feed back would be my honor, sis. by the way...GOT A NEW AGENT BABY! look out all ye bastards i'm going to put a bullet between ben aflek's cheeks, but back to what's at hand. 1) mama box is incredibly fucking superb. 2) i would of lost the went off because... like obviously right? 3) cake and murder and sad catechists rock...for sure. 4) the ending leaves it cascadingly cold...which is cool. loving you..me <read this comment like spiccoli in fast times at ridgemount high...i'll be eric stoltz. 9.>
i got your back..me. being no hack, let me drop the throttle done and snap his swannish neck..call it my knack...give the bird..i'll be your legs..the golden word. a flippant craze..loving life and right on cue your cantor's such a brilliant hue. you riot!..don't buy it.. make those motherfuckers ride it! and say "who's your daddy" yeah......10!
maybe you should choke them with some panty's, and pigeon toe their little heinies...honestly though...do you want them to stop? i'm sure life would be pure utopia then... and justy dorky enough. friction happens to be the leading source of fuel for that fire that is nucleur and evolutionally constant...the more friction..the more the next generation comes back resistant (whether it's tadpoles. planets, or people...or even stanley kubrick lol!)...consider yourself..well...a mother or father of the revolution of the soul! evolve or whine...you know? shit or get off the pot. here's your six now go look for some friction. prepare. (i would avoid me though, i'm damn spicy and resiliant man...try darksmurf he'll oil you down real nice and slide you off the "poopdeck". once again, prepare.
well. well. you got me. here's your prize. bastard. GOLDEN QUE TIP AWARD NUMBER 37 FOR MR. HEPHAESTUS AND HIS PEN'S POISED CHARM. this piece is a crack through..a matrix reveiler...an f5 twister....here's your 10...i'm late again...for mother..dear grendal and sir oedipus (my costumes please..thank you) i will focus perhaps a bit more of my energies in a more positive and costructive fashion, but not now...maybe...tomorrow.
oh my. all this happened here? who'd a thunk it. mirror mirror on the wall, where the hell'd that feedback come from?
this is lovely, cleverdevice.
tea parties rock.
oh please. he can't be scared of you.