INTRANSIT
on some deleted poem
15 Nov 2002, 1:58 PM
Much smoother than previous. A reversely drawn checkmark? Interesting twist. I smell a slight hint of zzinnia. good/bad I dunno. Your efforts are not in vain.
GREAT USE OF "fly" AND "high" TO RHYME WITH "sky"!!!!!11 KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! I'M SURE YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE ONE DAY! JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE -- EVEN FLYING!!!!11
hehehe "your [sic] special" hehehehe
I have to take my time with this one, I'll vote after a few readings.tastes good so far.
..which leads to what conclusion? It just leaves you....?? Poems are emotive, this one is not.
"a hollow shell
where a proud man once stood"
How pithily that speaks of mine own experiences. Oh beloved prawne! How I miss you!
Dear boy, you are the most paranoid, hypersensitive person I have ever not met. Do you know how many poems I have inspired here (I believe this one is #5). I am honored. But when I am asking you questions they are not loaded, so have a drink, settle down. I thought truckers were tough guys with a ton of hair on the chest. I shave all mine off, legs too, so see, I am really just a wuss. I just wanted to know if you preferred the tuck stop ice cream or the porn? 10-4 good buddy. Horus8 will not save you so maybe you should learn to say fuck you. Get out that poemranker rage. Please do not take it on the road. My favorite part of the poem is the mic feedback. Hey, geat stuff. Did the wife like it. Everytime I read my poems my wife leaves the room. Guess I will be losing yet another one. Oh well, keep on keepin' on, good buddy.
Not really my Bacon Sandwich,
You irritate me because i think
you could do so much better, dont refrain from expression its like a dogs ass sniffing its nose, poets are lost but their poems are found.
fuck it I'm cliche crazy today = have a 6 its friday
What, someone gives you a 0 (it was one of the Brits, they did it to my new poem also) and you cannot hack it as a nonsensical vote and carry on? What did you change here, besides giving yourself a clean voting slate?
Joey,
try and at least be moving, attempt to tell a story and not quote the obvious we can buy from leading card shops on the high street. Try and think of the single most upsetting experience in your life, rip your heart out and smash it on the round table of your fellow Knights.
I want inspiration, I want to inhale your sonnetic energy like George Burns puffing away on a cuban.
Come on man do it do it do it
i have faith
I'm trying to learn Haiku, I've written a few but at least I've learned from you how to swear nonchalantly.
laughably awful. "Would I wish for hopes and dreams of destiny" is such an eye-poppingly McStupid line that I vomitted blood after reading it. Your work is stupid and wrong in so many ways. Judging by your dangerously inept submissions to date, it is my belief that you are suffering under the misconception that good poetry consists of writing about your hopes and dreams and your struggle to live out your fantasies of love and soaring high above the clouds. Needless to say, the consequences of cherishing such a notion can be catastrophic! I shall be contacting your parents forthwith. A good try, though! 10/10!
A Good effort, i can see you really tried to evoke som e sentiment in this but you are guilty of a shocking crime.....
it sounds like a whitney houston song.
'the faceless assassin of her heart' that did it for me - 7
well done indeed and i'm in a bad mood
deserves to be more read
well done man
hey gods wife, why do you always get loads of comments but not as many votes? heres a 9 i liked it more the 3rd time reading it.
7, the last few lines, but it left me a bit cold
and a half