Far from perfect.

Well rick, 4 0's thus far. What you're saying is not news, nor how you go about saying it, novel. In fact, your philosophy is out-of-date and no longer true. Didn't you see Titanic? Mr Cameron's heroes learn their lesson's just for you. There is no reality. Nothing is motionless. The future does not exist. this poem is a relic from a time when humans believed in fate. You must be very young.

The last stanza is too obscure. So is everything else. I think I know what your talking about only because you're so vague you could be talking about a lot of things. Including my own personal belief. You sound of restraint, not hollow, but not hallowed. Make sense?

Eureka it seems I have found the center of the universe. Pre-schoolers believe God revolves around them.

"Her translation is in her eyes" the rest must go.

Your titles always always are better then their insides. Last stanza is good, no need for that last line. L1 & L3 in S2 are stand alones. Slash the other 2.

Funny, how sometimes it takes a while to arrive. The last stanza is the poem.

Fate is a relic. Why do I keep having to repeat myself? I wish I was a monkey with loads of lice you could pick off my head. Then I'd suck your cock and we'd both be happy. La de da. When's the blond lady coming with the chow and the vitamin tabs? I want them to dress mee up in a sequins dress and a fright wig. You can wear a trench-coat and a fedora. We'll rollerskate around the stage and everyone will get their money's worth.

Dude are you a fucking homophobe!!?!! You need to sort out your life

nice and short. also surprising from you. a little sentimental. not sure you can have orphans in a poem unless they are being thrown from a bridge.

You did do something boring. This poem. Don't you think comparing yourself to Christ, Malcolm, Rizal and King is a bit pretentious? Though I'm glad you kept Lincoln, Kennedy, and Rabin out of the list. Though you might have added Lumumba and Gandhi.

yaaaargh! the crap!

The line "they snuck a bullet into King" is good. I do not care for the rest.

This is no better. It is still a badly put statement of the very obvious. It's as idiotic as anything Bush ever said. Actually, if it was written this badly as an ironic statement on Bush's inability to speak coherently, it's a work of genius. But I somehow doubt that.

Indeed it was.

what the god?

I'm bored. that's seconds I can't ever get back.

Better.

Feckin' beautiful. (right?) quality wit.

Sentence structure extremely poor in the attempt to catch rhymes. The second, eighth, and final two lines are exemplary of that.