this is beautiful

Very fine, the ending is strong, I like that.

I don't find it absurd enough. And the rhymes are a bit clunky. But 'tis silly, and that is good.

ahem. G-O-N-O-R-R-H-E-A. Now ya know.

let's all face it folks: this poem blows bishops for bus fare and then walks home.

The sentiments are admirable, but the saying of them needs work.

I'd say you suck, but the plastic fangs probably get in the way.

At first, I read 'Prodding me with the big cat'. I like that image. Not that the rest is bad.

First time for anything, i guess..

Because, honey, you are a sinner. and likely ugly.

Hey look! Here is me, saying "your poems are crap". I guess now blade is going to come over to my house to suck me to death. This is a site where people comment on other people's poems. you know what? we even comment on the ones we don't like. If something is crap, we will say it is. And we are allowed to do so, even if some whiny, oversensitive bratling and her mall-goth friend don't want us to.

you won't get love because you are a bad person. buy a dildo and cut your losses.

to be with the angels you must die first...here..take my knife...

Waht about gay men? Are they enslaved by some other redolence?

what about she-men? won't they feel excluded?

"said my personal life"? What is that? ".. the fact of what..." terrible. "I treated you" to lunch, kind, what? Fix your errors. If you weren't such a brat, and could listen to critism without having a fit, maybe you would learn something. I sympathize with your situation, I was raped at 13 and then fell into many abusive relationships with older men because of it, but that's no excuse for bad grammer. Now stop whining and open your eyes to the fact that your writing, at this point, needs serious coaching. I think you just need to give yourself a few years before you start posting this stuff. Write all you want, keep it somewhere and then come back to it and make something beautiful out of it, this is tripe. I also suggest you move to an area with better schools if you can. Here in the states they have a victims relocation program, you shouldn't have to go to the same school you were going to before this happened. I'm assumng you're still in school. Does everyone in your neighborhood know this happened to you? Get some counselling, before you start acting out like I did. Poemranker is not an appropriate place for you to be discussing this shit right now.

I can't help it, with the way I speak, I find it extremely difficult to make 'China' rhyme with 'climber'. Maybe if you spelt it 'climbah' I'd prefer it. Amusing, though.

I'll take Wilde's version of the same images, thanks.

In full agreement with God's Wife here. The second is particularly annoying.

This is why i enjoy entropy. eventually, everything dies.