Tintagiles
on some deleted poem
19 Oct 2002, 7:12 AM
Is this a poem or notes for a poem you want to write?
hello amalea
much better now. but, why does he imagine she smells? he has torn her open, and her smells are there for him, an atmosphere...?
An excerpt from a piece of prose waiting to be written. Keep it and play with it, you never know....
I like the way it souds like a breif time you two weree together, but how enjoyable the time was.
definitely has potential. should
continue starting from "poor".
You're world sounds more racist then mine. Your sister has food stamps, she doesn't need to trade sex for bread.
This poem reminds me so much
of a song called " Richard" by the
Geraldine Fibbers off the album
Lost somwhere between the earth
and home. if you have not heard it
you definitely should. thank
you again for sharing your voice
with me I loved the music accompaniment. it felt like romantic desperation. very nice.
well done. nice feel of vanity
and denial in the face of adversity.
Much much better. This time I don't mind voting for the... what, fifth, sixth time? Seems to make much more sense now.
I really like the third verse and 'scurrying sandbaggers'. As for the rest... if I told you I found it boring, you'd think I was just saying that, so I won't. Let's simply say that I wouldn't buy a magazine for the sake of getting a copy of this. Or even print it out.
God help us all! Vermillion lives!
You are quite the artist,sir I can't tell if this actually happened to you or not. That is what makes it so good, to me. 9 (you know I'm the generous sort)
I waited to vote as you were still tweaking. This is much smoother. God this makes me feel hideous to be a man!8
Yea wel,l Oedipus didn't know what he was doing, you on the other hand...
this is a joke, right? or some sort of less-than-slow descent into madness?
Very sweet. You must have been in a terific mood when you wrote this.