Uhh... I could just be overtired but... where's the irony?

I admit I really like the idea.

Makes me wish I had a fireplace; but, I do have a chiminea. Dylan Thomas wrote of "the mulling pokers" in 'Child's Christmas in Wales'; reminds me of that. You two literary femmes, if you like craft-brewed beer, must try Raven lager our of B'more, MD. I served it for 3 hours this afternoon at an Arlington Oktoberfest shindig--I was a volunteer for my homebrew club. It would make the perfect ahhhh brew to enjoy in front of the hearth.

The first stanza doesn't have the power of the second. The birdsongs, the house dog, the roommate are distant from the scene not in that they're not involved with the scene, but in that they don't seem real at all. To me, the way you present them makes them completely lifeless and irrelevant to the action. I would work on everything before "will wrestle from" Why "dead shape"?

Have you ever heard a song called "Don't You Want Me Anymore?" by Pulp? It's the same idea, better expressed. Shouldn't it be, "you love me no longer". how much does it hurt you? This is just a statement of fact. Describe your feelings.

This is my favourite piece of yours, under all of the identities you've created for yourself on here. One of my earliest poems was about how Paris is too warm in the springtime. But I'll accept this because sadness makes things chilly.

YES! HORUS8 GOLDEN Q-TIP AWARD ON THIS FINE DAY why because oedipus means swollen foot.. because when 'they' found him as a baby he was hanging by his foot. congradulations are in order. 10!

charmingly uncomitted. boringly brazen..and flitteringly aloof *poof* {8} nice spoof. could you maybe take out those annoying question marks, and possibly put in'? good luck.i

The last image is the prize winner here. You probably know that already. I don't care for the hook line and sinker, except that it ties in with the last stanza. Could the cronies be fishing instead of butchering?

Altar, AltAr, ALTAR!!! Why the hell can'T people figure out it's spelt with a second 'a'? Yeezhus. (Sorry, sorta. I've seen a lot of this in poems lately.)

The thing I love best about soccer or football or futbol or what have you, is the combat. Men at full speed clashing into each other. As close as I'll get to this scenario. This is a very sexy poem. I am sick this way. I love blood and blows. How intimate and ultimate your heroes.

It's interesting that you write a piece about wanting people to respect you for who you are, yet you use homophobic lines such as "Many of you will think its gay or maybe just isn't right" to do it. Learn to spell. Learn that there is more to poetry than rhyme scheme.

this is just sooo funny. It's like it actually happened (hoping it didn't) lol, but great work

try in the garbage can next to the squared off syringe.t

Normally I run and hide from lyrics. I don't want to ruin a musicians piece by saying some thing about something I know nothing about. (That was circular). This piece I liked. Sad but I liked it.9

Yeah, but did you learn anything? HA HA. Liked it.8

Goofy n clean fun.

On second thought......

The opposite of poetry, this good sir is science.

I like this, it's very refreshing.