cacophony
on some deleted poem
9 Oct 2002, 12:32 PM
10
Simple but effective. 8. I like it.
jubilant and detached and arrogant enough to possess a certain innocence. odd.
perhaps the truth does not lie at all. check the eye of the beholder
Still smiling five minutes and two poems later
who needs ganglia when we have overworked cilia
Except whiskey is spelt WHISKY-illiterate american bum
Yes... yes... she does rather deserve better than you. Rather.
Actually, I don't know the lady. Maybe she does deserve you. But if that's so, I can't imagine what she did in a past life. Poor thing.
It is the return of Newbie and bigbigdog (aka ASTRO GLIDE), Turbo Tom and the many other names you thought up in your little room.
just don't beat her when you think she flirts with someone 5 years down the road, mm-k?
Okey enough... I didn't get a rythm or not a rythm, it was a little bit humpy.... but the text easn't bad at all.
I have no peticulary meaning about it, I't's okey I guess.
Start by living in the space between past and future. Sorry to disappoint but there are countless people out there who could make you happy. It's just a matter of wanting to sustain the illusion. You're poem is bogged down with repetitive language and a lack of creativity.
The idea of your poem is interesting, if not incredibly politically incorrect, but your execution is very poor. 1. Written with a clumsy hand, and the final line simply stinks.
that's funny, but what of odins eye and loki's mutated son? surely the must of fiddled her vagina oft in their youth. surely.??
sure it will.
no wait its sardonic humour
what a controlling fuck. washing machines turn themselves off.
get the fuck out, or die.
Damn, damn, damn , and dmanation-I like this, no-I do, this is good-10/10