I like this

struth... STRUTH!!

These characters sound the opposite of refreshing. They sound wise, dull, dark, and boring. I see an old world. You must have an old soul.

I believe you mean, "....A whistle's blown..." and the spelling is 'faggot' in reference to the wood-related meaning of 'faggot'.

Typo S5, L2.

what can i say..... good effort ?? better luck next time

Delicious indeed. You get so much mileage from such a simple scenario. The combination of powerful sensuality with the loss of dignity is potent.

A clever incorporation of a sad mood with modern technology. An unexpected twist at the end was incredibly effective and this added to the trauma vibes you can feel man. Bye Keep writing more because this is qulaity (unlike Nicholas Jones)

I just want to let you know I'm very proud of you for being able to share what happened to you. You should contact www.rainn.org. they'd love to hear from you. Get all the support you need. I know exactly what you're going through.

I'd like to know how YOU wash

What means this STRUTH?

"has now gone" and "before too long" scan better without the "now" or "too". I think instead of "they'll be no more fighting" "there'll [...]"? I think "try and sue" would work better as "try to sue" -- more proper and as such fitting the tone of the teacher, even if you're trying to let (him?) degenerate. All in all, a beautiful piece. :)

I dare you to "walk across a rainbow" . One more example of the most overly written about theme for a poem. Not the worst I've seen, but just as uninteresting and shallow. I thought we weren't suppose to go into the light?

Amalea, it's bad manners to leave requests on other peoples submission and not comment on the poem. you done it twice to me, please avoid doing it again, thank you. Nature cannot seep from the atmosphere. Hydrosphere is a completely unpoetic image.

while squatting on the phone (should add at end)

Nice, nice. However, the pay phone seems a sudden break that doesn't match. The first three stanzas are wonderful (the first is particularly delicious) and the final one wonderfully evocative. But hte pay phone doesn't seem to match the other images -- thoguh I see its purpose.

the rhyme scheme of the last stanza has some merit. I suggest you take a writing class. Also find what you love and read it til it falls apart.

I rather like the first stanza, then it loses it's momentum.

i really liked this even though it was of a graphic nature

Self-help poems..yes...