Gruesome but effective.

Seventeen was a good year.???

I read your dossier, and looked at your previous work. You have an uncanny knack for this. You've done better. I think.

Got the point but it felt "flat"

Don't worry, be happy.

puerile

sweet, sad. liked it.

Damn, forgot the "other" box. Sorry dude.

I like it very much! Love the heart on the lam.???

More color. Has a "New Yorky" feeling to it. You're in the right place. Welcome.

Again, needs color (metaphores). Don't say "pain". Try "steamrolled by the pain". Things like that.

you just can't stop yourself, can you?

I yearn for simpler times too. Thanks for reminding me where my watch is.

Not bad,not bad. More drama.

Bonza dog do da band, i wouldn't go swimming at west sands. theres a problem you see with effluent tusks, especially when paddleing alone at dusk, they'd have you believe they stopped the ivory trade, and cleaned up the beaches for the tourist trade, but i've had words with SAS, who say little carvings can be found on every crest. So if you must go jumping at the end of day, just think on -it could end in a different way, choking to death on a discarded key, then old Bryn Terfel will not sing Min y Mor for thy.

Keep the tether - like it or not, it's part of the deal.

let's hope he's under it

Too derivative. (I thought that was Johnny Rivers who told me that.)

Good poem... Nive vision.. read mine Deaf

Strangely comforting for such a desolate vision. Must be the water.??