<~>
on Spanish fLie by flatliner
23 Sep 2002, 3:41 PM
no habla espanol.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
23 Sep 2002, 1:41 PM
i see you removed your period. menopause or an after-the-fact shop-vac session?
i was once an ambered dragonfly...but that was then. this piece is transluscent and honey mad with sticky sweet ripples.
SCHMOOOOVE! I don't think this needs anything 'cept a glass of water maybe.9
OY! I don'tknow which way to go with this piece.Understanding fails me but, that's me not you.9
Trim this by the first fifty-percent and let it fly.7
I hate it when they don't listen! 7 his could use more and not hurt it.
trippity-quick words, like the beginning of it all. when the need is sated, what will there be left but the deed? proceed with caution, but proceed.
future past presents itself in feeble mind...try, but not so hard. let it be you instead.
truth and wisdom, are they ever friends, mrs.g? mean and spare, truth can be. wisdom is open and bleached dry as bones, but life springs from listeing at her spring. (roses like a deep slow watering, late at night. don't wet their leves or they rot, at least here in the northeast) z
And he throbs, and realizes he is thinking of you...
sometimes what is captured on film is so much emptier though. and the inherent sadness of that can be...devastating...
More really good poetry, Rylflsh. As an editor (among other things), I recommend resubmitting after a thorough edit/spellcheck; writing this good deserves it.
the connexion between trampled stolen roses and hearts and tombstones intrigues me, but i want more development
i had a bag full of their broken teeth. i made a magic necklace from them. when the moon is blue, is naked time and dancing is sweetest, and mud is the only covering permittes us. and mariglds. lovely, lovely marigolds.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
23 Sep 2002, 1:09 PM
i must be misreading this after all the other comments, but i think there's something a lot deeper here than the chainsaw as a weapon of some kind. there's something sexual. some kind of "joining" going on that means something. very nice, z. (remember that time you lent me your vacuum and showed me how to use it?)
i'd like it better if s1 ended 'only a ripple' repeating from the line above--a sort of reinforcement of incredulity. ripples can effect untold change, when time and circumstance align just so
you have inspired me. i thank you.