Lenore
on Pilgrim by timfowler
23 Sep 2002, 6:33 AM
I like it however I'm not crazy about the use of 'flaring'. I stumbled on that one line. over all I give it a 7/10
Right on, Lenore. Would "death, life are one" help rhythm? Also, do you want to capitalize Amber, suggesting a woman's name, or leave as lower case, and thus up to the reader's imagination?
A Curse upon all who decimate such sacred ground! Great poem! My wormwood has over taken the path in my herb garden but I love her still. You should see how she shines in moonlight! 10/10
As a Woman I feel that this poem is grossly gender bent! ;)
I voted on this but hadn't commented. The title is a stranger to me. I assume the stone-dropper is in S1 is the premoter of your desire in S2 but I keep picturing a man so it puts me off. I prefer S2. Line 4 seems unnecessary I read it without L4 and (spreads) in L3, but that just means I transformed it into something more mine. I particularly like the last line. You have to be brave to rouse another's desire. I haven't seen too much expressing that.
This is fantastic. Particularly the last stanza, it is complete in thought, rhythm and rhyme.
that's beautiful. The last 3 lines make it perfect. what can i say, i'm a sucker for space.
This is great poem to come across-you rarely find anything so straightforwardly celebratory. You can't help but want to join in!
This is either the 'to do' list of Slobodan Milosevic or my boss. Thank you for retrieving it.
Lovely, GW. I'm currently working on a tune with my band that's a mambo; never have figured out all the tango, mambo, samba, differences. This poem has a lilting rhythm. Would a comma go well after "The wind,..." ?
Such suffering and sorrow... a dark but great poem Katie! 10 for ya! :o)
jesu loves you..now that's a potent pistil seeking stamen..thankyou..for your reply..i also carry a strong clear respect for your scribbles...timeless and poignantly wide wide screen. you could be royal indeed..i your not a dark angel clone that is fucking stringing my mind.(which by the way i never puy past that skull cleaner) anyway...good morning. 10/10.
I like the suggestiveness of your imagery. There are so many possibilities for the mind to explore. I'm not so sure about the repeated refrain though.
I love this. now I must go find that city and see it for myself. 9/10
Kinda beautiful...
Oh you and yourdaisy chains,oh you woodland sprite, o prince of pixies, but Yeats was never a nature poet, but never mind. Rips the crap out of Shelley, anyway.
I think most of your poetry is magic. the last stanza here confirms it. 9/10
swell.
Whatever happens, men die...