this was hilarious! I loved the part that goes "have a nice meal / Hope it poisons you" I often have those thoughts about certain individuals...damn bastards.

I think your poem was pretty good but that you needed to break it up so that it would read a little more smoothly.

I like the streaming style of this rant, it reflects the anger that the subject projects. I wonder if it needs punctuation at all- interesting poetic exercise

BORING. an ineffectual, blatant attempt to overwhelm the audience with overpowering imagery. SUBTLETY is crucial in a piece like ths. Not to mention that the thought process is fragmented and unrefined. Amusing to read the comments, especially the one that says (and I quote exactly):"You're so predictable. I don't have to look things up, well sometimes to make sure I'm not mis-spelling them. The words I used are far from big. Trinity Juvenile Fatuity. Are you home schooled? Does your fundamentalist mommy waiver between punishing you to keep you out of the eternal pit and licking your genitals? Hard to get an adequate education under those conditions. Reply ". ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL!! You should really be posting on a comedy site, not on a poetry site. Someone claiming to know English, and look words up to avoid misspelling them, then turns around and puts punctuation where none is needed and then goes so far as to use the worng word altogether!! Oops..or did she just misspell "waver"? I suppose we'll never know. I have written my own verse, and to be quite frank, would rather not post it anywhere if the alternative were here, simply because the so-called poem I just read is so uninspiring and obiously neurotic as to cast a palpable pall on any kind of quality work.

oh, heavens...i seem to have misspelt a word...damn, I guess i'm not perfect after all

I have read better stuff on a medicine bottle

bravo, bravo... I bow before you. MORE MORE

As a published poet i can say with experience that this poem blows goat balls, i have to agree with bigbigdog that this guy/gal is either 6 years old (and not very clever for a 6 year old) or is in more dire need of a blowjob then anyone of the face of the planet... damn did you read that before you posted it.... i have written better poems setting on the toilet drunk vomiting in the sink... damn boy/girl get a life and get a clue..... get a job because the poetry isnt going to work out for you ....... all i can say is damn you suck

well ya know, those who know me know that I am rudefully honest , this is well read for yourself "When he reaches me he says nothing, just takes me in his arms - wet from his skin cleanses me, sweet liquor on his breath." first how do ya know it is sweet, did ya taste it, heh, I think you and your pops have a lil midnight ass penetration going on after he gets done fishing, well I have a freind that can help, he has a bunch of Astroglide. :) oh and btw, the poem sucked ass.

I doubt your parents are pleased. 2 thumbs down

There are as many stanzas to your poem as there were in Jesus' lifetimes, 33. This poem is 33 stanzas too long.

I would change the title to "5 out of 6 Dentists" or something vague. Otherwise, good poem.

I think this is great, simple words like gin and bourbon and wine, now where have I heard that kind of thing before- Mr Babitt

Well!the personae's ambiguity of character leaves an impression on reader (at least on me)7

I like this one too.you write with genuine feelings.7

haha! wise words. Nice haiku.

Cute...

Concise and punchy-10/10

This is incisive and so true-nicely put-9/10

Absinthe makes the heart glow longer