I sense aloof pain. Which is a man's territory. "That 5 yr old's shadow stretches on" Truth.

here, have another. xxxooo, z

You guys are nuts! The poem is a simple description of your feelings around gay men and how you view them.

you should write a story instead of poems.

i really dont understand this. man i am dumb. whats the reference to "styx through erebos on a spoon" mean

nice, very nice, in fact.

I think "yummey" has a different tonethan the rest of the poem.

obviously, this is about me, but i like it anyway.

Ugh.... Curse... of the ...ellipsoidal.

now, see, you re-posted the poem, but the comments, child, the comments--where did they go?

Was it for me?

yes. but she missed all your worst qualities, and dwelt only on the succulent finer points.

Hmm... poetandknowit doesn't want us to write sweet, and he doesn't want us to write angry, and he doesn't want us to write sad. I guess we'll just have to conform to his style of writing incomprehensible dribble, huh? 7/10, Cory.

Poetic justice? Typos. Reality has little to due with the punishment of sin. Reality punishes the good as well as the bad. She's not prejudice. Prisoner of Regret. Not horrible, but no grab. Rice cake poem.

"lifes never been swell" gets a 0 and destroys all hope.

I don't understand how "i to look away again" fits in. I don't know what exactly you've changed, but my only stumbling block at the moment is "i to look away again"

I've grown fond of version one; this one doesn't appeal to me so much.

a sad/sweet sentiment. I couldn't get into the reading of it, however.

to whom did you write this h? who was she to you? it seems to me you have a drea or two left inside; they didn't all float away on the tide. as a poem, this seems laced together, and i want it to be more tightly woven. just tighter in general, since innocence is a huge thing to lose, and i want to feel this deeper in your words, here.

Oh and guys he clearly states he has a wife.