horus8
on some deleted poem
13 Sep 2002, 1:06 PM
insectivorous, and reminiscent of some of the womab of met where the seasons carry more of a distinctive four toned chime. 7/10.
???
Explain this?????????????!!! Sorry Dougy but where are you a prof? Do they give degree's away free with every bag of cheesy wotsits?
Me like!! 10/10 great poem indeed =)
Why would you delete my sage words? were they not worthy? I spent many a precious second whittling then from the bones of my lately deceased uncle Diarmuid. God rest his soul. His life was filled with the dark black goodness and an occasional tootle pon the whistle of merryment(stop your filthy thoughts). How i hated him so. If you had written this dirge a moment sooner i could have read it at his wake, but he might have with sheer exasperation at the triteness embodied in my carefully chosen homily
i, sadly, was just asking you in the chat hole about when the next slew of AIDS poems was coming. this is the AIDS-poems version of 9/11! my god, i can't imagine devoting so much time to it, but i guess someone has to to make the rest of us look sane. keep it up Gay Angel!
Dear Doug: since I am the house roach here and everybody else seems to have wandered back to their lives I will try to answer your questions. First off, I do not think many of the folks who have responded to your poem lacked an understanding of it. I know that on first read it was quite clear what you were saying, although I did not pinpoint it as Iraq but took it to mean our lovely "war on terrorism." As far as your comment to beaker, technically yes, a haiku is not restricted to the 5/7/5. It is basically an American translation of the haiku. So you are right there, but in almost all cases a haiku is under 17 syllables, which this is not, so he is correct in questioning the style. Also a haiku tends to focus on one image, although the creator of this site will argue that two contrasting images are necessary, which you have incorporated into the poem. Traditionally, using simplistic imagery is what brought about the haiku's depth, but in this case, you not only use burden-laden imagery, but border on cliche. The lovely (oh if you only look like the image I have in my head) God's Wife was making the case that the best artistic works, especially on areas relating to real events are usually best tackled by those who experienced it first hand. I realize we all experienced it first hand in some sort, although I was in bed, but the general philosophy in formalist literary circles is "write what you know, know what you right." As far as your comments to Limeness, I think she, like all of us were a bit amused by the tedious explanation of a poem most of us were well equipped intellectually to understand. It really is not deep or complex at all - simple imagery, simple metaphor, etc. And my comments regarding Christianity were not in reference to the poem, but to the comments. Just trying to keep it real and light. And last but not least, a good majority of the folks on this site are not American and thus were not affected as Americans. So that is always good to remember. 8>pk
SWEET! try lain instead of 'layed'
Deep, very, very Deep. But it's idea and it's flow i do like! 9/10
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(_o_) ruff!!!!!!
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(| | | |) now there's a puppy, be happy, LoL (Sorry if it send this and the puppy don't look like a puppy, LoL )
Cruel, crass and silly, I like it
Not more, I keep getting these!
hmph, mediocre
More!?
dark indeed. But i do like it 10/10 =)
Hey, who gave this a 0. I kind of like it, minus the caps, but maybe he is hard of hearing from the mortar fire.
What's an Iraqian? Talk about know your enemy ;)
dark indeed. But i do like it 10/10 =)
i revoted.
fucking keyboard!...anyway i ment women that i've bumped into back east. sorry.??