I like your original poems and it's another one.S3 and last were wonderful.9

'only your hands, your eys' - no heart? Maybe that is modern love?

This is funny - I especially like your last couple of lines.

I like your turning to literature for comfort and finding some salvation there. 'gray Elegy' also brings to mind Thomas Gray's 'Elegy in a Country Churchyard' - is this deliberate?

This is worth writing about. It needs some fixing up but I like it. I give you some suggestions but I'm having a tantrum right now so I'll get back to it in a few days.

If you're writing a comic poem, you shouldn't have to put 'funny' in brackets after the title....

You know, if you're going to get way up there on your giant soap box you should at least make it pretty. This is not a poem It's a very bad nagging session. "Is this what makes us proud?" "Is this what our ancestors...." You sound like a crotchety old man. An impact can never be made by standing and wagging your finger.

Why the one comma? You didn't bother to use punctuation anywhere else. And the last line is clumsy with the typo. Might want to get that.

Like the beginning, especially the first line and dig the ending, but let out a big yawn in the middle. Maybe it is the adjectives you incorporate in your poetry that bother me, but then again maybe I just do not understand this type of poetry because of the culture I live in.

captivating ramshed of interesting and thoughtfull words. Impressed without disbelief. Knew you would pull through. In the wrench of the day the night doth fall hard and fast...so they say. 8/10

Are you equating yourself with a tough guy Spartan?

touch me! Your getting hot! and making me sweat. ever read the magician's heart. its hard to find.

right...you wanted to touch them to see if those muscles were real of not. Interesting tid-bit of "Real-Life" ... but seriously...is this something worth writing about?? Like it, but would rather read Dr. Seuss.

or with L. from midsummernight's dream? or with the judge?

ok trev. I really like the first stanza...might be interesting to play around with more word choice.

Know exactly how you feel. Like this one much better. Good job. Great work! 8

only made it half-way through....let's get dinner and talk.

I like your poetry, and this poem. I've reread it, yet can't understand the last lines; however, I find a little obscura cast by this site's better poets a tasty challenge.

Why?

=)