I like poems that namecheck 'Blankety Blank'.

Beautiful!! I love it! One of the nicer ones i've read. 9/10

I too am foozled. Super fine.

This is weird and wonderful

oh. i like this a lot. to make a mystery of the everyday, that is is magic.

wanting meat is fine, and blood is necessary, but the finest slices can be soaked in their own, and lose their appeal. perhaps it is not want but need you seek?

I think you really oought to leave this to a poet who might have actually been there. Of course there are those professional hacks who can drum something up for the Prez. or Congress. I don't think they'd pay for this. Infact if we sent this to them they might lock you up for life as a enemy of the state and you'll never even get a chance to defend yourself as a misguided poet.

That's a really long poem so I can see you put some effort into it. Still it is overly simplistic. As is your philosophy about love. The idea of that one person whom destiny has chosen for you is a pure fabrication of the idealistic mind. There are a ton of femmes out there who are perfectly capable of making you feel like a million bucks. The problem is we are notoriously fickle and it's usually going to end in tears.. After another 2 or 3 heartbreaks you'll get the hang of it. This poem is very sweet and very charming in it's own way, but it lacks creativity.

The immigrants song. how do you say; This poem is long-winded but stil manages to convey nothing, in your language? I'm giving you 3 because I like the idea of a "loser butterfly"

I think you have alot of important stories to tell. Some of these stanzas are very beautifully executed. I think if you divide these events into separate stories it would have more impact on the reader. It's too much all at once. Also, the title is inappropriate. The terrorist attacks of Sept.11th, 2001 should not be compared with the horrors other people are living. Not because it takes anything away from "9/11", but because it minimizes your own struggle. Your experiences and the experiences of the people you present to me in this poem deserve to stand on their own. I understand your point, the United States of America appears to be an arrogant self-centered nation. We'e making a big deal out of a comparatively small act of violence. But don't you see, you are contributing to the agrandizing of this event simply by putting it in the title of your poem. Our government is using this event to create a sense of nationalism and justification for war. Please do not confuse the people with their goverment. Just as in your country, the people here are nowhere near being the hypocrites their leaders are. This is not your 9/11 this is your Anfal. Explain it to us. Show us. Many of our citizens will listen, and take your words to heart. This title reduces the author from the honorable status of poet to the dishonorable status of slanderer. My wish for you is that your talent will grow, and that through your words and the words of other poets the United States will be forced listen.

If I were you commenting on this poem, P&K, I would, 'oh another poem about urban American working folk. Bored again. Yawn'. It seems that we all have our favourite little subjects doesn't it? It's called experience and observation from our lives. But as I'm not you I won't draw attention to such a blindingly obvious point and then pretend that it's a crucial critical insight. Instead I shall say I like this, including the 'cat and mother'. But you need to put some birds in it...

Again you've got one really great stanza here - number three with the chaos theory butterflies, which is a great metaphor for certain Great Leaders as this time

I think the last two lines are the best. I wouldn't worry about P&K's comment as I think you're telling a simple story simply and there's nothing wrong with that. I like the poise you have, not overdoing the language - 'You see' is a good distancing effect. But yeah, sort out those ??????s. And what's 'wier'?

I like the last few lines of this but your attempt to suggestively evoke Lady Day through your list of epithets (especially 'mahler' - I don't know this word except as the name of the composer, is that what you mean by it? Please tell!) doesn't really work for me - reductive (esp. imbiber) rather than descriptive or empathetic.

The definitely gets the Cupping GW award for the night. She is off with Clement, so I guess I am stuck with you. I actually have a friend going through a similar thing as you....

I rather liked stanza 4. But then I guess I'm into odd line breaks.

I happened to like it. Pay no attention to them.

Yep, I think this is private rather than public poetry. Your Mum will love it. Just a little grammatical point - as you've put 'For though' in one line, you don't need the 'but' in the following line.

I really like the first stanza, 'cos Blair is always standing up for something he hasn't the first idea about.

It's good to commermorate the man, but this is a bit idealised.... what about JFK's womanizing, the Bay of Pigs, the increased involvement in Vietnam? JFK has been turned into a saint so much that we forget that he was just a man.