<~>
on some deleted poem
11 Sep 2002, 7:48 PM
so, you can die for joy, but not for pain. listening through the walls... i cringe. that's the sort of sound you just can't tear yourself away from, as it tears you in two. --please fix the ???'s, though.
who would have thought....Dave is all the way gay. Funny isn't it where he pops up in civilization. Crazy cats...deadly dogs...do no harm. Like it, fiercly!
hot damn, pete. welcome back. butterflies with nascent cyclones tucked within their wings. yes. very much yes.
Expand upon the second stanza. I am intrigued as to how the suggestion of nudity pans out!
I like what you are trying to say in the poem but u lack punctuation, which mkaes it difficult to follow. You also say really nothing about history?? 3/10
there are some matters that need clarity in this piece. Try to break it up to make the read more lively.
these are sweet and innocent; but you miss the point of haiku. it's not just about counting. ask nentwined.
updowside runandhide feathers and beaks, the words he tweaks
and has unleashed on the eyes of men
and women pixellated and fixellated and fornicated and fragmentated
and swirling and dervishing about my ears until in tears
i beg...just one little bite?
tantilizing tid-bit. Horror-ishly visibly embeded in my mind. Horror and sex. Wet and sweat. Trick or treat. Gread.
Kawa - I want to hear your voice in your writing. Who are you? Kawa -turdy. Nice, but give me more. More tricks, licks, micks, kicks, sick..soon..bick shick. Razor burn.
never cross a gypsy.
a whole what?
I see. Babies making babies? Or rather, babies being babies? Its wonderous how the world turns...like sand through an hour glass...so are the days of our lives. 7/10
Oh God/Allah/Vishnu please stop. You know you have an excellent idea here, but talk about long and boring and what a stupid title. I was not even interested until you started reeling over the names and that was almost at the end. Poems for political struggle are grand, but this is a weak, weak, did I mention, weak, first draft. .
Pimple poem.
you are a very sick person my brother died of aids 2 years ago when he had a car crash his blood mixed with another persons u should think more about the poems you write before you post them you dont know how much pain u can cause someone your not even worth any words of violence you should just admit your self to the nearest mental hospital.
why are all of your poems coming up at once. the torture! They are so bland!
i could languish in that bed all day... thanks for the picture, mrs.g.
Hey Poetandknowit I hope you read this cause I think your comment was very insulting and uncalled for. If you don't have something nice to say or you do not have constructive corrections then keep your bloody opinions to yourself. Imbecile!