poetandknowit
on Inner Peace by god
11 Sep 2002, 1:31 PM
This is stupid. A Haiku is supposed to be an image not some didactic attempt at a proverb.
lol
Wow, you spent a lot of time on this goofy thing.
Who made you "god"?
I think in line 15, it should be"....in awe at the colors" not 'at'. The poem sounds Minstrel-like to me. I think the last line can be done without. Nice sensitivity. LOL at your comment Bacchus.
Okay ive been holding it long enough..
you are on sick homophobic bastard.I dont know what's going on in your mind but you might be hurting people and you dont know it. Sick bastard.
I disagree. Doesn't seem at all forced to me. I like.
Nice one.
I like this poem...with the exception of the last sentence. I am just a simpleton. The message that I received from it rings true. However, I don't understand why you subtitled it "life sucks"?
STARFUCKS IS PART OF
THE EMPIRE EMPIRE, FOOL
IT IS NOT FOR POETS
how dare you
LOL LOL LOL!
You have a nice thing going but like some other commenter said you tend to give your point away so the poem kinda looses it's essence. Try writing(which you are doing a great job of) and then reading through to see which lines you can omit. Poetry(my definition) is the medium through which a person(poet) describes feelings without being too definitive. Good luck. :-)
Is it supposed to be "loon?" Oh yeah it is loom cos it's titled the weaver's curse. Well I don't get it.
The naughty little violence in the bedroom seems to be getting a little too naughty.
This is as goofy as the last one. It has no umph because it has no valid experience behind it. Who cares?
"....some magic some magic..." delete one. have a nice day.