All I'm saying is that Whitesmiths prose is a simple statement of a personal realization. Thats it. Nothing less/more. Feel a feeling, write and evoke. Analysis be damned. Simple, not simpleton. cummings was lauded for this difference as a poet, his simplicity, compared to his contemporaries.

The roar of the engine sounded familiar, but I needed a trip down memory lane to remember. I didn't want to be King of the WPS only the Queen, i think. I'm not sure, the boy who sells his cakes for half an oz of backy and one of grandmas anus altering suppositories (no dear its not a sweetie) has confused me with his swift staccato talk, and i don't know which way to turn. So perhaps a prince or a queen, i'm undecided.

Everything fits so well together - the title, the words, the emotions ... I feel like I can put myself in your shoes - very well done!

First off, I think this is quite a good piece. I am quite fond of many images, especially "And the boys, yes, the boys will come With their hammers. Building new rooms for the confusion." That said, there are things that threw me off course (eg abrupt tone shifts, who is David, etc), but I have to run to teach a class. I will get back soon. Nice piece.

god'swife: I have just found the following limerick by Lear which may shock and disturb you with its 'rape' of the English language: "There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,/Who said, 'If you needle or pin shall see,/On the floor of my room,/Sweep it up with the broom!'/- That exhaustive old Lady of of Winchelsea." As for definitions, I too was being somewhat flippant (fancy that!) in describing the 'whole point' of poetry as jumbling up words. I could rather say, that some of the best poetry ever written involves such linguistic acrobatics, which are a significant part of what makes it so great. In dismissing the technique as 'rape' (you have made general criticisms of it elsewhere on this site) you are also dismissing the vast majority of poetry written before the 20th century. A definition of poetry today may have to be as vague as 'anything written in a stylistic way with plenty of line breaks'. You may disagree with this. If so, I'd like to point out that the reaction of a rational person in that situation would be to state your position and then attempt to justify it by further argument. The reaction of a batshit crazy person would be to go into a sulk and keep repeating that everyone has a right to their own opinion. Which is true. But doesn't mean that everyone's opinion is right. Do you see?

Sometimes you need to look at things again, that is all. I never meant to "complain" about the ending. I simply was drawn to the beginning of the piece on first reading. It is very absorbing. Thus, when I came to the end, the beginning was still reeling and I was wondering if the ending was not anti-climatic. But I like the conclusion. I do not see Sylvia Plath in here though.

And finally, TDLB: I tend to agree. You may have noticed that I have posted quite a few poems which I have later deleted. I will probably delete this one too. It was merely an amusing diversion from some larger projects I am currently working on.

not drugs again, he always talks about drugs. I thinks he's a pervayor of smelling salts to the big endian tenants of hampstead.

Christof - my name doesn't say anything about not liking criticism ... it simply means if you can't be constructive about it - deal with what you don't like - I DO appreciate helpful suggestions and ideas to make [all of my art] better - no probs there. Just don't tell me you hate it and suggest I either go away, work on something "worthwhile" or re-write it - not helpful to me at all! "Constructive Criticism Always Welcome" - don't like it, don't read it...if you still read it and think it's the worst you've ever read - dealwithit!

but wait, read again. Oh no you fool she has tricked you with her headsucking ways, tis not about drugs, tis bitting social comment, on the issues of the day. Super. Don't you want more children baba. don't you need them to flavour your stoner soup. Lots of love D (see were on first letter terms now)

As an 8 year old he did seduce me with sound, all whistles far and wee. Naturally i wasn't drawn to his more, we sans love equals mob, type stuff. but i've always loved him for his mastery, and his hard work.

Christof-- what makes me unbearable is what makes us all unbearable, our inability to perceive ourselves. I mis-understand, and I am mis-understood. You have the permission to be as personal as you like, because you are a gentle man and a gentleman. we have a chemistry you and I, here among these chips and wires we have developed an understanding. Unfortunately I got loads of misunderstandings developing out there. Anagram interrupted a pointless arguement i was having and shed some light. Sooooo, I am grateful to Anagram for making sense, and giving insight. I'm very self-confident, to a fault. Please explain the difference between defensiveness and defending myself. TARQUIN-- thank you for your vote. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Babbit11-- David is a friend who was there when the girls came over. He was making them laugh those lovely squealy giggly laughs. I struggled with that line for weeks and finely gave it up. Suggestions? Abrupt tone shifts? my poems are usually heard never read, maybe i'm writing for the voice and not the page. Could you show were please, and suggest how I might fix them. Thanks in advance.

god'swife, mtotcky, babbitt11 - so flattering that y'all think it's worth your business day's to discuss it at such length - I would like to add something here . . . I work at home for myself, so my boss won't get upset! I am (although it seems arguable now) an artist - I paint, write, work with clay, am a metalsmith, photographer ... you name it I've probably tried it! I can paint a tree, but feel that is defacing nature and causing possible harm to said tree! In a nutshell, I grew up in an environment where my "native language" wasn't English, it was Emotions - I think in feelings, colors, smells, sounds, etc. ALL of my art is pure emotion. This (whatever you want to call it) was written the day after my life's partner (not sharing that knowledge at the time) left to go back to his home. I was miserable and it was raining. I also came to a positive realization that we would be together for all time! It was also written 22 years ago. Why don't y'all just look at the words (things that I look at as "necessary evils") and read into them what you think they mean. A "poem" {lyric, painting, piece of metalwork, etc.) mean one thing to the creator ... I think you should all use the creativity that brought you to this site, use your imaginations and make the simplistic, uninformative, emotional, (etc. - again) your own thoughts ... how would they relate to events in your lives? THINK ON YOUR OWN Y'ALL!!!!! Like I said at the beginning, thanks for thinking this is worth a lot of thought and discussion for such a simplistic and poor [MY word] piece. Y'all have a good time and keep on keepin' on!

Christof: I read the first line with the first stress on 'years' so the only difference in rhythm from the Lear you quote is that there are two unstressed beats before the first stress, rather than one. Certainly this deviates slightly from the standard in which almost all start 'There was' with the beat on 'was', but it still retains the triplets.

Show us ye willy big boy.

Yes by jimmy cricket, that is a super little phrase.

but no rought stuff

And here i return the compliment

help me out here, what is the cliche' you object to?

BTW - a question . . . Why does art (of any kind) have to be laborious, hard, difficult ... why not just have fun with it? I'm working mainly with musicians on cover art and in advertising with small businesses --- I LOVE my work, simply because it isn't "work" - it's my life's passion and [dare *I* say it] PURE JOY!!!!!!! Life doesn't have to be hard and serious and a "dreaded" thing ... lighten up and enjoy what you do - otherwise why do it at all? G'day y'all!