if ever this predicament ever befalls your lovely head again...do not poison his drink. send him blueberry muffins with one or two daddy long legs <without the legs> in the mix. they are the most poisonous spider in the world, but they can't bite humans. it works. i know. :) ~Jade

Sometimes we Gods envy you humans. You may want to correct the misspelling of equation in the 2nd line. I can't put my finger on it but it needs some more development. I just woke up I'll try looking at it again later. 5

This is funny as well as sexy...nice work. :) ~Jade

Sentimental feelings - or what the young-uns get trashed for everytime, this is just updated for a different stage in life and everyone will love it. 4/10

My dog just died a few weeks ago...He was the only animal I ever actually liked. He was 96% wolf-4% alaskan malamute. He was huge. He was beautiful. He hated water. We buried him in Blanchard on our friends farm where many of his offspring for four generations are living. Tasha Yarr, his mate, and Jenna, his lover, will be buried on either side of him. He even has a tombstone. It says "apaches moon...the best dog in the world...sire of 54." yep 54, and that only includes all of his... his name was Apache and his son Hannibal is already bigger than Tasha and could knock me down. My brother tried to teach him to sic. He won't. Although he once bit this guy walking through our backyard. lol. Hannibal...supposedly name after Hannibal the Great of course. It's funny the looks we get when we tell people his name. We were gonna name him Quiccher, cause he whined all the time as a pup and when people asked what the hell that annoying noise was we could say "oh thats just quiccher bitchin." lmao. well i g2g cook lunch. ~Jade

:) i am glad you've read the books. not many people i know have. my favorite book under 200 pages is ella enchanted. i like ender's game series too. ~Jade The Golden Dragon- if anyone out there can tell me what book Shwe Nat came from I'll be impressed.

Theirs so many thoughts of death in human beings today, although most don't know how to express their feelings about the tragedy. Nice job expressing your feelings about such a grotesque situation.-SatanicSuperman

Ben/alexander/god - one of the same I see. This is an interesting comment. I usually do not try to defend my poems and I am placing certain entries on this site because I am not happy with the end result necessarily, but you have told me something I have never heard any of my work termed (fiction background, playwright) in my career as a writer and teacher. That is "pretentious." It has been called shit (or crap as you say), so I am quite comfortable with that. Some simply hate poetry that doesn't rhyme, etc. In fact, I had a reading once at an eastern university and in the middle of a story a student stood up and politely said, "Man do we have to listen to the shit anymore." So I was wondering what brought you to that conclusion, to call the poem "pretentious" because obviously the narrator in the poem is quite the opposite. The poem is about the vulnerabilities involved in pilgrimages, in this case the pilgrimage of a relationship, the faith involved in making a commitment, hence the play on Medina, which is where the girl was actually from. Sometimes metaphor just falls into the lap. If the rather simple religious imagery and the fight between what is offered as security seem pretentious, I would love further explanation as to why you find a rather interesting use of metaphor as being this way.

Normal trailer park life. only thing missing is playing in the sprinkler-<a few holes punched in the hose> i like it. :)

I apologize for being rude. i'm embarrased by that first comment I left a few days ago. The point I was trying to make is it's better to use allegory if you want an emoitional response from your audience.

thank you, horus, for your completely worthless and sophomoric comment. i'm sure the poet really appreciates it. 2 things stand out to me. who is the addressee? is a real person being addressed? or, is a potential, intangible "path" being addressed? would be interested to know. secondly, the last 8 lines are obviously very "gutsy," and really don't seem to "gel" with the rest of the poem. i arrived at them, and they almost shocked me based on the innocence of the rest of the piece. perhaps somethign could be done with the style/form to change this.

I appreciate your commenting, and I'm not trying to be confrontational, but could you tell me what's wrong with sentiment, seriously I want your opinion, and what could be done to make you give this poem a higher rating. Theoretically, of course. I looked up sentimental, and it says characterized by or showing emotion or refined feelings.

Thanks you've helped me shed some bottom grapes. I clenched my cheeks so hard i strangled a few of the buggers. And when i shuddered on the re-read they fell out the bottom of my corduroy trousers and will keep the colony of ants that live in the chimney breast occupied for many days to come. So in a round about way you did entertain me. Pity it all had to start with such anus contracting unpleasentness

As I said before, my comments were made in a joking fashion. over your head they went. I imagine you generallly lack a sense of humour, except when you and your "posse" are out raping joggers. Bojangles is not a Samurai. What are you, in junior high?! "heh, heh, they're doin' it." As for the half-assed insults 1."bitch" and 2."cunt" : 1. guilty as charged and 2.yeah, I've got one of those. As for the "stupid" one, The fact that I don't feel the need to make utterly moronic speculations about the relationships of others, using sad attempts at obscenity for punctuation shows that I am a fair bit more intelligent than yourself. Grow up, write something, maybe leave the trailer park more..

You're so positive. Wonderful. I've been through some trials just like everyone else so this philosphy of striving for happiness is near an dear. 10

Thanks so much, I don't know how that happened! I fixed it, thanks again!

quality.

bottom haikus by a kiddy fiddler, God bless america. shit forgot the capital W no America.

I like the visions you made with the words Thunder is big and all caps Lightning is crooked and the raindrops are falling. i like this. keep up the good work. ~Jade

You got question marks were your astericks should be.