If it's left to think too long, or if it's allowed too think to long, in the 4th line would make it easier for the reader. The 3rd stanza is so strong it could even stand on it's own. 8

hey razorbitch so you found this idiot somewhere and started fucking him did you, silly idea you stupid bitch hey was it actually that big or did it just feel that way because he was shoving it up your ass fuck you this poem's horrible and so are all of yours

twas nothing beast!

Ha! another bit of torrential turniptation. lol! the sparkle of chthulu. 7/10!

Show-gun, show-blade, show-over. this is great and funny too....8/10!

razorslut, we know you're fucking him if this makes you so totally hot then just go impale yourself on his waiting katana you stupid cunt

there fixed it...fuck.. editing is a mother fucker ah!

microwaved poetry anyone? fine i'll eat it myself.c

bacchus-thank you for your good wishes, they are much appreciated in this world of cynicism and easy virtue. God's wife, you have clear vision and if god ever gets tired of you, I will be here for you. I like your poetry too-Anne Sexton would be proud of you-my all time favourite.

This story is a festival of jocularity. It's sooo long, I don't know how you gentlemen get through the editing of these Epics. How these visions appear in your mind will also always be a mystery for me. My imaginations looks extremely jejune and humdrum standing next to yours. I going to assume you meant to spell Germain Germane, so this is pretty much flawless. I love the pageantry of it. I'm glad I took the time to read it. It broke the morning's tedium, and put a smile on my face. Thanks. 10

The use of the nouns as adjectives in lines 14 - 16 is inventive and works well. It conveyed to me the sense of seperation between body and soul. The 'are but' in line 2, and the 'are all but'in line 6, sound archaic in this contemporary poem. Maybe you placed it there as a contrast. It does kind of weigh the piece down a little. the last stanza ties the everything together. Nice train of thought. 8

much more than meets the thigh. ummmm. could it be..SATAN! nay just nathan with the morning drippings. i like um when you um write like dis. tank yo. 7/10!m

hey, this is great! it reminds me of..my empty stomach rollllinggg.ahh food help, i writed to longed this passing nite. my colon is fecund in anticipation...8/10

lol! holy jesu' you win the MAD WITCHES TWO SENTENCED PERFECTION AWARD. lol! that's a duezy! 8/10!

another blood letting mantra aye..... drink it! lap it up..you call that a cut...it's more like the crack of your but. i am on to your retro suiside scrawlings now...you sir, belittle the act! thrust as the samurai, or get stitches like kid idaho, you do neither. you plant band-aides for others to heal with? you fail, but with fluffy green kale!

ha! that's funny, funny shit...you should compare all asspics of your life to your video game library immediately. lol! driving test, masturbation, you actually being the winged spectre. DAMNIT D.A i know you're in there bleeting away you bastard! nah..paranoia..i'm okay..DAMNIT MAN COME OUT, I WROTE ye a story. st.Leone of ploimped balohni.. germane for you, my friend...bastard.. with your puppets, damnit man you're perplexing my fondu this fine morning...wait a minute the user name is way outta your griftings..oops sorry kid...smoke a fatty.carry on 7/10

hey razorbitch so you found this idiot somewhere and started fucking him did you, silly idea you stupid bitch hey was it actually that big or did it just feel that way because he was shoving it up your ass fuck you this poem's horrible and so are all of yours

Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. pity you lack the yarbles to post any of you no doubt fascinating works up for all of us to bask in your genius. yes I am involved with Mr. Bojangles, you pathetic litlle pissant, and I have been for longer than you have been in school, kid. Your "size" comments suggest that you have issues about your own little member. Don't worry, I'm sure there are some exercises you can do for that. I get the strong impression that you don't really talk to girls all that much, you have some anger issues that should really be worked on.What you don't seem to get (among many things) is that I made the comments which seem to enrage you so were not made seriously. You didn't say much about poems, though. You mostly directed your inarticulate wrath toward the fact that I'm getting some and you're not. i'm curious, why is it a silly idea to make love again?

Last 3 lines exemplify the power of good poetry. Much in little. Meditative. Makes me feel worthwhile. I get stuck on the idea of glory having victims. 7

"And to all the children: congradulations!" Maybe someone will get that. Maybe. A remarkably prudent message. A triumph.