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on The Ultimate~Creep goes to Mecca! by Bachus
19 Aug 2002, 6:12 PM
that's quite a confession, h.
How is this crap made out to be good? This is the worst poetry ive ever read.
crap??? i thought it was hilarious!
Nice. 7. Simple and to the point. A predictable ending, but a pleasant enough ditty nevertheless.
This is good. 8. The title really complements the poem, and the choice of words is very well done.
five years old dad standing underweared in front of you, with a piss drop soaking through. breakfast anyone?
Whiny teeny-goth crap with a born-again twist. Every bit as tasty as vomit spiked with leper's piss. Take this pile of cliches and place it somewhere in your anatomy, sir.
An absolute stinker. 0. My good man, the scenes you describe are those of a terrible, low-budget movie. Terribly bad, far, far too long and a bore to read. I didn't think it possible, but the poem is actually worse at the end than it is at the beginning. This poem failed to excite, to shock or even to actually move me to any emotion, other than to screw my face up in disdain. Poor sir, very poor.
hi z..thanks..i think..nah i'm over it now..i just promised a dear friend of mine that i would retell it, by mixing it proper with a couple of other...memories..that...fit..well..toge
Nice idea, and executed with a dab of panache. 7. The ending's a little wishy-washy, but as a whole, there's still something there to interest the reader.
Nice final verse. 7. It really sums the poem up well. Some evocative imagery as well.
yes. it definitely would sound better over a pint ot two. so long as we're talking on the telling of it, the bit about your dog disjoints, but not in an effective way. some sort of transition is needed to work it in literarily... like, another glass of ste. emillion, perhaps... miss me today? i sure as hell did. i like being outside, though, and i worked my ass off today.
A quality poem, Tascobar. 8. I particularly like the form you have chosen; the short sentences indicate a stunted thought process, which is what I presume you are partly alluding to in your piece. Jolly good show, old bean.
On first reading this I dismissed it as the kind of sloppy, sentimental tosh that really builds up a rage in me, but then on reading it again I changed my mind. An interesting take on the world of internet chatrooms? Good final line with reference to the start of the poem. Have 7, Sir.
I have vomit all over me thanks to this. 0. The kind of rot found in only the very worst greeting cards. For the final two lines alone you should be punished by hard labour. Disgusting. It's made even worse by the poem initially disguising itself as a quite possibly half-decent philosophical little ditty, before regressing into the slush from Hell.
Sweet stuff. 7. Written with a child-like innocence, this is nice. This could still certainly be found in greeting cards, but at least they wouldn't be naff ones.
exciting..stupendous..now i know that i've struck a cord...fact is friend it's a true story and sometimes we don't write to impress or make the 'a' list, i'm very pleased that you dissaprove, cuz i personally feel everything you write, like, and say was precisely the biggest factor behind why i posted it to begin with..i hope you forget it as quickly as it forgot you /p.s to long? what? do you read fortune cookie novels and call yoursef a valid critic...here's a recommendation..."running with scissors" by Augusten Burroghs...oh, wait.. that would be way, way to long..you're right stick to the comments..we wouldn't want you getting any brighter...may you find yourself in quick sand one day screaming your user name over and over again...my friend yes, tell the queen hi said hullo. tea time. ta ta
Heavy stuff. 6. A couple of the later, longer verses are a tad clumsy, but there's some good imagery and ideas. 'the wet cement of incision drip' is a really nice line.
To do what? ah free...to see?
To see..what?
oh...how sinple it really should be..
this poem fails to comfort me...but i love your name!
Awful. 0. Like a nursery rhyme. If read out loud at a poetry evening, this would have to be done by a 3 year old.